words of thoughts

Post 130 : People come, people go

2010-06-09T17:15:00.003+08:00

The fact is that when people walk into our lives, they too will walk out. But the question is, are we ready for their exits?

Time and time again, it has been proved that I never learn from my past mistakes.

Post 129 : Wesak Greetings

2010-05-26T10:50:00.002+08:00

We celebrate Vesākha to remember the birth, enlightenment and the passing of a great man and a great teacher-The Buddha.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to all my Dhamma teachers and Kalyana Mitras.

Thank you for guiding me, lifting me up and showing me the way.

May the ray of the Buddha's Dhamma shine brightly in all of us as we trod on in samsara, practising hard in the attainment of liberation.

Post 128 : Consolations in Life

2010-03-25T22:23:00.006+08:00

I have been so busy lately, I barely have time for myself.
Few of my close friends have been commenting on my exhausted physical state and stoned mind.

And just today, I developed a slight fever and a terrible flu.
My eyes are all watery as I type this in.

There is the Buddhist Society that I'm in charge of, class representative for my class, Badminton sessions and more. Not mentioning the heavy workload as a Mechanical Engineering Year 1 student.

I have been so occupied with activities.
I should have known that this over-involvement would have taken a toll on my health. Even a perfectly fit body would fall sick, what more mine?

The law of action and reaction. Who am I to fight with the law of nature?

And then there is this huge pile of unravelled "God knows what" sitting on my desk, towering over me!As it stares at me, I look at it and smile sheepishly.I will unravel you one day, my assignments and tutorials!

Final exams are around the corner, and out of the 6 subjects, 4 are year long modules!
What's gonna happen?
The exam schedule has been released, thankfully provisional! I will bang bang panda bear if he refuses our request (inside joke, LOL).

Despite all this, given a choice to turn back the clock, I will loyally stick with the same routine.

I am really happy to have had established the Buddhist society on campus.
Knowing it is the "culprit" in my lack of time, I will still adhere to it.

The activities organised such as Haiti Donation Drive, Organ Donor Pledge Drive benefited the whole uni, both staff and studens alike!

I see NBS as a platform to provide both students and staff the opportunity to cultivate generosity and loving-kindness.
After all, that is the core teachings of all religions, not only Buddhism.

If there is a single medicine to all sickness in the world, that would be loving-kindness.

And then there is our weekly Buddhist talks-English and Chinese.I can literally see wisdom and happiness grow in those avid members.
Avid members who made it a point to attend most of the sessions.

Here, I would also like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to all the ardent supporters of NBS.
Especially to Sis Loh Pai Ling from BMSM Kajang who has been with us through thick and thin. Planning our weekly talks outline. Helping us create the network with distinguished speakers whom are not only famous within Malaysia but around the world! Bringing food and snacks to almost all our activities. Chauffering speakers to and fro, from and away of campus. Sincerely, you are an angel in disguise. Without you, we wouldn't have matured that soon. Thank you so so much!

The joy I see in all, it brings joy to me as well. I finally understood the joy of sharing!

Joy in this matter, cannot be evaluated mathematically. It doesn't means that by sharing, you will have less for yourself.

The more you share, the more you gain!

Also in the 7th week of last semester, I was voted in as the representative for Year 1 Mechanical Engineering, and I did not decline. Despite, the past experience I had when I was the representative in Foundation, I decided to not decline the post this time round.

Now, I am not gonna try to sound all noble. I did not accept this donkey job because I merely want my classmates to benefit from my work. As a matter of fact, it is for my self-satisfaction. Not derived from popularity though, nothing to do with that.

It is satisfaction garnered by having my voice heard. My voice. I have always been a loud person.
Loud as in not literally, but vocally.

I enjoy seeing things get done, especially if it's due to my personal effort. Call me self-centred, but if it brings me satisfaction and also brings satisfaction to my classmates, so why not?

This is my consolation.
My personal consolation.
A certain kind of joy that only I can understand.

Also, I am now back in the uni Badminton team. I finally decided to play the sport again. The Buddhist Society is no longer an infant and I have awokened from the state of disbelief I was in, having been removed off the uni team just weeks before the tri-campus games in UK last year.

I played for Red Nemesis in our very own Nottingham Sports week, and YEAH!! We WON!!! We championed the Badminton tournament!
Thank you to the team for giving me such a sweet experience. It definitely boosted my confidence level on court.
So much was lost last semester, I was kind of in a trance, and now I'm awokened! THANKS!

With 4 more weeks of classes, and 4 more weeks before study break begins and then finally exams, I am looking forward to the co-operation and mutual understanding that I share with my lab groupmates who are also my Spring Cart assignment mates. Let us all come up with a fantastic design that can withhold the load of 2kg and can travel the distance of 3m on the rubber sheet!

I learnt an important lesson from this group mates of mine. Always keep your mind open.
If not, how to see the positive changes and virtue of others?

How to grow with wisdom if no effort is put on our part?

Many a time, people tend to be blinded by petty issues that when it is time to look at the bigger picture, there is no longer any vision in them.

After all, the world doesn't revolve around us. We all have our own set of problems, yours, mine and ours.
So why let my "problems" prevent me and why impose my "problems" on others?
Problems come and go. It comes and it leaves.
We all too, come and leave.

So instead of leaving a dent, let us all try to leave footsteps.

Note : Posters attached are designed by Aung Chit Khin. Amazing eh? All hastily done in less than 30 minutes!!

Post 127 : The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

2010-03-21T15:06:00.002+08:00

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. That's what people do when they are passing through a period of time when they contemplate a lot.

I found a particular phrase that struck me deeply. Here it is, from Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook:

We sit silently and watch the world around us.
This has taken a life time to learn.
It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content.
The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence.
It is a waste, for silence is pure.
Silence is holy.
It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking.

Post 126 : Life DOES NOT revolve around YOU

2010-03-16T11:06:00.004+08:00

The cause of all our pain, anguish and aches is due to us.
We are the root to all our depressing mental states.

To be or not to be. To lament or not to lament.

There is always a choice.
And the choice is always/ most of the time OURS.

Sorry for the long hiatus.

I have been going through a (include adjective here) time.

It is really unexplainable, as I am still going through that period.

Once I'm out of it, I will explain the unexplainable as best as I can.

Time frame? Infinite! As long as I'm in it, as long as it is unexplainable.

Post 125 : Ill Prepared

2009-12-09T02:29:00.002+08:00

I'm sitting for a 2 question, 5% test in few hours time.
Considering that this blog has been terribly neglected for the whole of this semester(almost), what bad timing in trying to revive this right?

I've decided to forgo the paper, forgo the 5% paper. I've not done a single tutorial for this subject and I barely pay attention to the lecturer in class. Therefore, I deem burning the midnight oil pointless and I shall just catch up on my sleep.

It is really unlike me to take my things so casually. You will be dissapointed, I know cause I'm dissapointed in myself, too.

I shouldn't be giving any excuses since choices were made by me myself. Despite external influences, it was still me who had the steer of my time. No matter how busy or occupied I am, I should have dedicated a little bit more of energy to "necessary" work. After all, I'm here for a good honours degree and strive harder to continue with my distinction stints.

I admit, I sort of lost my sense of direction at some point of time, some recent point of time.

But since I'm back on track, it't time to do some contemplation and deep thinking. Time management is of my main concern.

This shall be the first and last of such neglect.

For now, I'm thankful that it is only 5%. I would be totally screwed if it's 50.

Post 124 : The Nottingham Buddhist Society

2009-11-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

This is what I've been occupied with. For the love of the Dhamma and out of the respect for the great teacher-Buddha.

Post 123 : Excuse Me, I need to breathe

2009-11-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

Excuse the dust for it will thicken until my sense of direction comes back to me.

Post 122 : Life is Uncertain, Death is Certain

2009-08-29T22:37:00.010+08:00

I think that it is already too late for any updates on the PIKOM PC Fair. It would be stale news by the time it gets posted. I'm sorry Su Lin, I was either too busy, sick or away these few weeks. If you are interested to read more on the Taiping Fair, do visit Su Lin's and Yi Phing's. They're linked on my "fellow blogger" list.

I finally bought a good pair of running shoes using my earnings from working for PIKOM. I need a good pair as I run on a daily basis, at least 3km per day when my summer break started. I hope I can continue with such determination and effort when I get back to campus. I don't want to lose my stamina and regain those body fats and weight again. I wanna lead a healthy lifestyle :)

My pair of Asics. Technical shoes like this pair here don't come cheap.

Sometimes I do regret having unofficially officiated a few personal blogging etiquette. This past few weeks had been a complicated mixture of emotions BUT I can't insult those who had insulted me and I can't vent my emotions by blogging on any certain person who I'm disappointed in. Because once anything gets posted, it is irretrievable, especially sharp words that pierce. And then all events involving people are all impermanent, why want to publicize it by placing it under such scrutiny? Then, there is this thing as non-self. If everything in this cycle is due to causes and conditions and are so very related that if one condition were to be removed, the direct cause will be wholly changed, then can we call what we are feeling as self?

In conclusion, this is why I try my utmost best to keep this blog impersonal.

I am still very much like a child in many ways. Tonight as I sit here and blog, I want to and I NEED to throw tantrums.

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!*

Putting that aside.

I officially quit working in SBS office 3 weeks ago. At that point, the office finally managed to employ 2 permanent paid workers. So I felt that my stay was unnecessary and decided to reduce my time up there and finally stopped.

Then I volunteered to edit one of Bhante Aggacitta's talk for the upcoming Kathina in SBS. The talk will be made into CDs and distributed to the open public on Kathina Day. The programme I used is Audacity and believe it I have never used or seen the software, only heard of it from my aunt as she used to edit talks for SBS too and even attended a workshop for that.

The first few tries were just groping around with me editing and cutting songs. I finally edited few songs into short versions where I only took the chorus part. When my hand phone rings, I now hear my hard work :)

I immediately started work by listening to the whole talk. I was supposed to break the talk into different tracks of different subtopics, so I had to FULLY understand the subject before I can derive them. And that was the most difficult part.

I am indeed a 'new' Buddhist and my Dhamma knowledge is already shallow and upon listening to that talk, I realised that it is literally zero. I think it took me 3 days and at least 5 rounds of repeating the 2-hour-talk to finally grasp the subject. It was tough labour but I'm happy that it was a good learning experience.

Finally, I submitted the talk to Bhante after one full week of full blast editing.
I actually took 2 weeks to return the edited work to Bhante. The first week, I was involved with PC Fair, engrossed with watching Little Nyonya series and planning farewell surprises for buddies. The second week, I felt guilty and decided to go full load except Little Nyonya interjections. The series is really irresistible, those with my Facebook will know how addicted I got! LOL!

Breakfast with Yi Phing and Su Lin at Lian Thong :

Lian Thong's famous kam keat. As seen from above, the limes are soaked in sugar and water in bottles. They make really refreshing thirst quencher, especially served with ice.

Phing making silly faces AGAIN!! :p

Su Lin and I. Sorry for the naked plates and cups. Remembered to only snap pictures after emptying the plates and filling the stomach.

The surprised(?) cookie monster!

Yi Phing and Su Lin laughing away

Because of a certain deadline I set for myself, I worked through nights. Upon submitting, I fell ill. I think it was due to too much radiation from the computer and lack of sleep.

Initially I thought it was H1N1 as Taiping was terribly hit at that period. Unrest rested as I managed to recover after one course of antibiotics and need not visit the hospital for a blood test. I was told by the doctor that the situation here is so bad that the results will only be out after a week. Thankfully I didn't have to go through the hassle and headache. I already have enough at hand :p

Because of Little Nyonya aftermath, I made tong yuen and learnt to bake Seri Muka from my granma:

Four-coloured tong yuen balls. I couldn't make red ones as there weren't any red colourings in granma's fridge. The lighter green was made by mixing yellow and green.

The completed tong yuen balls and ingredients for the gula Melaka, ginger soup.

Ah Ma at work with her kung-fu!

1st : Boil the tong yuen balls till it's cooked(right)
and
2nd : Transfer them into the soup(left)

The Final Product

Before I start on my next update, let me maintain my stand here. I was an ex-Convent girl and still do love my alma mater. So me attending the TMGS 12oth Anniversary celebration dinner doesn't mean that I'm showing disloyalty. I have to explain as I do know of certain rumour mongers that will jump at this piece of news.

It was a fun night in Legend Inn, a great break from editing works, thanks to my aunt who invited me and paid for my ticket.
Kudos to the organiser of this dinner, it was a smashing success! It was my first time attending such an event where both young and old fly from all around the globe to just return and serve their alma mater.

As my objective was to just attend, observe and learn how events of such are organised, I did learn a few things.
The schedule can go out of hand as old girls who had not met each other since graduating from high school will be obliviously chatting and catching up. Secondly, Malaysian time in Taiping can be worsened by the rain. After all, Taiping is the wettest town in the country. Thirdly, I notice that the year of 70s classes are usually the largest group. Maybe because their career is already at it's peak, their kids are all grown up or they've retired but are still in a good health state to be able to travel over time zones for such a reunion? Who knows? I'm just speculating.
Then, the school anthem is a must have in the itinerary.

All in all, the dinner was a fun filled touching one as ex-students of all ages and all walks of life return in the name of their school. I hope that I'll be someone someday and will have greater power to serve the school that had served me for my primary and secondary years.

**Touching on a more sensitive note, I think certain people need to move on. I would really like to advise you to move on with life and stop lamenting on how you want to go back so badly to the past. Secondary school life is OVER, get on with it. Don't waste your days away by wishing you were able to turn back the clock. Trust me, when you're 40, you'll wish that you can turn back the clock and relive the wasted days of lamentation. Whoever you are note this.

I just got back from KL 2 days ago. My to and fro journey was by train travelling with my aunt. We went later than my parents and grandparents as my aunt had lots of work to settle and we had to go down to Penang for my appointment.

In Penang, I was introduced to Chee Cheong Chok, porridge with pork meat, pork intestines fried till it crisps and pork liver. I was hesitant to taste initially as I'm not an intestine person, but upon coaxing I gave in and boy! it is definitely the tastiest porridge I've ever had! The porridge bits were cooked to perfection as it wasn't too chunky nor too watery. Timing is really important when cooking and I give my thumbs up to the hawker of that stall. Too bad I left my camera at home :(

Back to the KL trip, from Taiping to KL Sentral, we took the 2nd class seats and then from KL Sentral to Taiping, we took the 1st class seats. It is really not a usual practise for us to take 1st class. My aunt was telling me that she only took 1st class if any of my grandparents is with her. Old folks need more comfort. Since I am a frequent train passenger, she wanted me to experience the 1st class seat despite having to pay a whooping RM53 each for the tickets! But yeah, it was worth the money as the seats were wider(twice the size of the 2nd class seats), leg space larger, there is a power plug for laptop users at every seat, extra service by the train workers informing us of our next destination personally, a bottle of mineral water each and a piece of cake. The 1st class compartment is also adequately air-conditioned.

In KL, we put up at my other aunt's place. Our main intention to KL was to accompany both my grandparents for their medical check-up at IJN but we also did a little shopping in IKEA, IKANO and 1Utama as these are malls near my aunt's place. And then we went to Semenyih to visit both my brother and cousin in Nottingham. Visited a few lecturers and managed to catch up with them. It's been 3 months since I last saw them. I also collected certain documents from the admin building. My original results transcript for the whole of my foundation and my offer letter into first year. FYI, I'll be doing Mechanical Engineering come this academic year in September.

It was during my visit to Mr Tan's office that I found out about the death of 3 Malaysian Buddhist devotees in Ladakh, India. They were there to provide aid to the Ladakhi people. Quoting the Nalanda blog(linked to my 'fellow bloggers') :

"Ladakh itself is a district in Kashmir, Northern India, nestled in the Himalayan Range. It borders Tibet to the East and Pakistan to the West. The region is very remote, hilly and rugged. The people there are among the poorest economically in India.
While traveling on a mountainous stretch of road out of Leh (the district capital and nearest town), the vehicle taken by the unfortunate party plunged into a deep ravine. The rest of the group, which consists of 40 participants, were traveling in other vehicles, and are confirmed safe. Nevertheless, we believe they must be traumatized by the whole incident."

1 is still missing and 1 is still in the hospital, reported to be stable at this time.

Incidents of such make me wonder, why must good people go so early? Why didn't their good kharma prevented such an untimely death? Incidents of such reminds me of my sceptic thoughts of the 2007 incident that hit Burma : the hunger strike of the Sangha members of Burma, many were killed by the militants. And the Cyclone Nargis that hit the laity members. Burma can be called as a holy land where most of the citizens are devout Buddhists, but why such fate?

Truly, Kharma is such a complicated and deep subject that a human mind like mine cannot understand. We had lived hundreds of thousands of lives that we can never know what have we done in the past to condition such a cause. Similar for myself, I don't know what I've done in the past as I don't have the ability to recall, so all I can do now is to train my mind to be free from defilements. My first step for now will be keep my 5 precepts! HAHAHA!!! Thank you Bhante Aggacitta for enlightening me on this.

Quoting an e-mail I just received : Ajahn Chah told a story of how he observed that after a storm, the forest floor will be covered with fallen leaves. However, not all leaves are old and brown; many are green and fresh. This is simply nature at work.

Life is uncertain, BUT death is certain.

I would like to extend my deepest condolences to the family members and friends of the 3 deceased. May they be strong to face this tragic incident. This is definitely a great loss to the Buddhist community as I heard that they were very actively involved in Dhamma work and charity work. In fact, 1 of them was the organiser of this trip to Ladakh.

On a brighter note, I have good news to blog on! Finally, my lil brother is now a JPA scholar! He was visited by a surprise phone call from JPA while he was in class few days ago. I am so elated for him as he totally deserve the scholarship with such good SPM results. Congratulations Ren! During our stay in KL, we also went over to Putrajaya to settle the documents. Such perfect timing! The phonecall arrived while we were in KL.

The 52nd Merdeka Celebrations is in 2 days time. Due to H1N1, there will not be grand parades and huge public events. I will drown myself with films from the 15Malaysia website.

Post 121 : PIKOM PC Fair 2009 Taiping (Eve)

2009-08-05T00:01:00.013+08:00

I finally have the time to update on my work experience at PIKOM's PC Fair. Taking a short break. I've been working on editing Bhante's talk. It can be really exhausting especially when my Dhamma knowledge and Pali vocabulary is so shallow. I have been repeating the first 30 minutes of Bhante's talk for at least 4 times and I'm still unsure of the tracks I've decided on. I really hope that I can do a good job for Bhante and for SBS.

For those who didn't meet me at the fair, I worked for PIKOM, as part of the organizing crew.

That's me showing off my PIKOM vest.

So the 1 million dollar question is : How did I apply to work for PIKOM?
My 1 million dollar answer would be : Itch your hands and send them a daring e-mail!

I was surprised that we were not called up for any interview. Maybe I sounded convincing enough over the phone? Or maybe, they were in desperate need of workers?
So anyway, upon several calls here and there, I managed to get Yi Phing and Su Lin to work along with me. It will be perfect bonding time for us 3 before Su Lin leaves for US and Yi Phing for AIMST.

The 3 of us with James' (supervisor) nametag

I'll still be in Taiping for the next 2 months. Anyone wants to yum cha? Anytime!

And then you know, PC Fair, the best place to meet people and I was in dire need of my ecstasy!

Perfect Plan, Perfect Job and Perfect Timing! Perfect Pay too :)

Our work started off on the eve. Introduced to our "young" supervisor who drove all the way from KL : James Lim.

Supervisor : James Lim

Notice how I highlighted the word young? From our conversation over phone, I actually gathered that James must be a 40 something man with a slight paunch. Maybe it is due to his relatively lower voice.

We were shocked to the core when this young man turned up instead!

James then briefed us on what we are supposed to do for the next 3 fair days and distributed our vests&tags.

On the eve, we were supposed to supervise the decoration and setting up of booths by both the exhibitors and contractors.

Spot Su Lin!

Boxes of goods at AI Computers' booth.

Another exhibitor organising the booth.

We also distributed entrance tags and boxes of water to the exhibitors. Despite the fact that not much was done on the eve, 3 of us were terribly dehydrated. The MPT officials refused to turn on the air-conditioning as the hall rental was only paid for the 3 fair days.

Restlessness and exhaustion got the better of us that we decided to play with the walkie talkies.

Mou Liu activites include speaking to each other on the talkie although sitting right in front of each other.

I remember having crazy conversations with the contractors in Tamil. My vocabulary of Tamil is of only foul words and that sent the 6 contractors in fits of laughter. Worst was when I "kuchi kuchi hota hei" over the talkie! The whole hall could hear us roaring in laughter!

For lunch, we brought our packed fried rice to Kok Beng and ordered a plate of just chicken. We then packed a big pack of chicken rice for James. Kok Beng's chicken rice is one of the top 10 best in Malaysia. We thought that food would be the best Taiping town introduction for James.

As the day neared a 7pm, we decided to give the still absent exhibitors a call. Me and Phing had Little Nyonya to catch!
Most of the time was filled with fun mindless chatterings. James, 'Manis', Richard and Ah Leong. At least we got to know each other better.
In the end, we left after 9pm. As workers, we had to honour our work :)

The 4 of us then went to Tai-O for dinner@supper. Working in such an industry, meals time are really irregular.

I reached home at 11pm, just in time to shower and rest before the repeat of Little Nyonya at 12am. I slept at 1am, praying hard that I can wake up in time for work the very next morning.

Post 120 : Journalists! Bah!

2009-07-27T23:32:00.003+08:00

Kosmo the bias newspaper cooked up something silly on the recently deceased Yasmin Ahmad.

This is CHEAP publicity to the point of smearing a reputation of a dead person!

Obviously, the journalists have their brains where the sun shines least-their butts(cruder way : asses).

Please let the deceased rest in peace and her family mourn the passing of this legend.

We Malaysians won't buy your cheap publicity chicken crap.

Link to the newspaper cutting through Walski's blog : MyAsylum

Post 119 : Farewell Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-27T22:14:00.003+08:00

Whenever I visit my own blog, my usual routine would be click on blogs that I've linked on my own. As I browse through few of these blogs, I notice that many bloggers had dedicated their most recent post to Yasmin Ahmad, the director/producer/scriptwriter that made Malaysia famous.

Life is really fragile. First the shocking death of Michael Jackson, now my very own favourite scriptwriter/advertisement maker : Yasmin Ahmad.

To me, these two personalities are big gifts from the heavens in the form of normal folk.

Yasmin Ahmad was one of the true-est Anak Bangsa Malaysia I've ever met so far. Although I've never met her personally, her works touched me so deeply that I can actually feel her emotions and thoughts connecting with mine. Yasmin Ahmad need not be a politician to preach on the most crucial and important element lacking in Malaysians today. Racial Integrity. And in fact, she does it better than some of the men who claim to be representing the rakyats of Malaysia!

Just yesterday, when I was informed of her death, I became dazed, I didn't know what I did what I was doing and what I was supposed to do. Everything seemed so mechanical to me. What I had in mind was : who will film the Petronas advertisements? who will continue with the production of Wasurenagusa? I hoped and wished that I was dreaming and that Yasmin Ahmad would recover from her stroke.

And now that I've 'recovered' from that mild depression, I'm dedicating this post of mine to the "optimistic and sentimental to the point of being annoying" lady. She had dedicated her youth, life and probably health to all Bangsa Malaysias out there and now it's time for me, a Yasmin Ahmad-films-made Bangsa Malaysia to at least think of her and her works as I blog today.

Yasmin Ahmad, you've always been a hero to me. Only works of yours had ever made me cry. Yesterday, a hero had fallen. Today, I see an extremely shining star right next to the smiling moon. Like Michael Jackson, your works will forever be viewed.

I LOVE YOU. REST IN PEACE =..(

Post 118 : In Memory

2009-07-26T18:50:00.003+08:00

I'm going to bed NOW.

And when I wake up, I want to hear that Yasmin Ahmad is still alive and is filming her heart-warming Petronas advertisements.

Post 117 : SBS updates

2009-07-20T22:13:00.005+08:00

I think it is high time for me to write on my experiences working as a volunteer worker up at SBS. This will be my 3rd week working up there at the edge of the forest. For a first-timer in the working industry(defy the fact that I'm only a volunteer) I'm glad I made this decision to work at the monastery. In such an environment, most of my colleagues are already seasoned Buddhists and are rather experienced in the Dhamma(teachings of the Buddha). So it is a rather conducive place for me to achieve one of my holidays resolutions : and that is to seek and understand the Buddha's way of life.

It has been 2 pleasant weeks. I met many brothers and sisters in the Dhamma whom were ever willing to help with selflessness. For example, I have this lady who will pick me up on an almost daily basis from my house to the pindacara(alms round) venue of the SBS monks. Then another lady will send me up hill with the 2 Sayalays(nuns). When I'm done with the day, one of the uncles will then send me to the foot hill.

Regarding my job description, it is a really random list. No two days have similar tasks. What I've done so far includes writing cheques and receipts, answering phone calls, logging in the accounts, packing food for the other workers, helping with cleaning and housekeeping, running here and there all over the hill monastery except the monastics zone of course(out of bounds to females), playing with dogs and feeding them and some computer work.
My dad calls me a "pion" : runner/office boy kind of work.
And I said it's even better to do all sorts because that's where I can learn!

The SBS office during Wesak Day

There were few interesting incidents that occurred. One of them was the incident when I was chased by a female dog whom they named "Ah Girl". His husband is "Ah Boy". So Ah Girl recently gave birth to 9 puppies and is still nurturing them. Ah Girl being a seasoned mother (Ah Boy can be quite gatai/horny LOL) is of course heavily protective over her new borns. When I tried to approach her during the 2nd day of the birth, she barked and was running towards me even though I was at a distance of 100m away from the nest. One man got bitten by her when he only walked past the area.

I'm quite a puppy person as they don't smell as bad as adult dogs. So on the 3rd week of the birth, I dared myself to have a peek at the newborns. This time I dared a 50m range and stood for a lookout. Before I even stepped forward from my lookout point, Ah Girl ran forward towards me and CHARGED! So I screamed and I charged too!!!! I was so scared that my heart nearly failed me. I was thinking of the steep terrain and how tough it'll be for me to run away from a scorned mother. From 50m difference in distance, it became 5m and I actually considered which leg to offer, the one with the sprained ankle or the one with the injured knee. I decided sprained ankle. I shut my eyes and tried to shut off my senses.

Suddenly, I heard a shout "Ah Girl stop it!". And she really stopped!!!!

Thankfully, Hla Kyaw, the Burmese worker up at SBS arrived in time. Or else it wouldn't be only mosquito bites scarring me, it'll be dog bites too! With Hla Kyaw around, I could daringly adore the puppies. If only I could bring one home. Apparently, puppies from SBS are of popular demand. Must do booking weh!

Another incident was when me and Aunty Chooi Suan hiked to the lower organic farm to pluck some Pegaga leaves. She wanted to make us all afternoon health drinks. When we got back from the slight hike and adventure, someone spotted a fat juicy leech on the office ground. Obviously, the leech had quenched it's thirst for blood and it was one of us. We both searched frantically. Went to the toilet to check but no traces of blood. I got really scared when someone mentioned about the case of how a leech went into a girl's body through her pubic region and parasite-d on her blood. The leech got so huge that she looked like she was pregnant!

However, I finally found the victim! It was Ah Boy! Poor dog! I found him licking and nursing his own wound. No plasters needed. How resourceful of Ah Boy :)

I learnt a lot about work politics, issues in life and of the struggles that my adult colleagues went through when they were young(er). Here I would like to thank Aunty Lei Hoon who taught me on how to be such an energiser bunny despite the fact that she is already a grandmother, taught me on how to "follow the law" when working and taught me how to never say no but maybe I'll try. I would like to thank Aunty Chooi Suan who taught me on how to let go off the past and move on with life, taught me on dirty work politics and analysing characters, taught me on the wonders of the Pegaga plant, taught me on fighting to the very end and live the struggle.

To Sis. Lee Ching who taught me true and pure selflessness. Then there is Ah Boy, the dog that taught me courage and responsibility. And of course the abbot of SBS-Bhante Aggacitta who answered all my doubts and questions-even the stupid and silly ones. You know I actually asked him "Will ALL my questions be answered when I'm in deep meditative concentration? Even questions like : Why is the Buddha's ears so long?". That got all of them into fits of laughter. I learnt so much from Bhante that I can never thank him enough.

Saddhu ALL!

Post 116 : Frustrated

2009-07-17T23:33:00.003+08:00

R.I.P.
Teoh Beng Hock

There can never be peace without justice.

I am SPEECHLESS on what and how such an incident could happen.

What I am concerned is that Malaysia had lost a leader who had integrity, lost a man who had a future, lost a son who is loved by his parents, lost a groom in making and lost a person who trods on righteousness.

To the family and fiance of Mr. Teoh, I extend my deepest condolences.

Post 115 : =.="

2009-07-10T00:05:00.001+08:00

I'm fed up of you.

So f**k off.

Post 114 : Excitement

2009-07-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

This is exciting! I'll be starting work tomorrow! My first proper job in this lifetime! Despite the fact that I'm not getting paid, for me, Dhamma/voluntary work is more satisfying than a paying job :)
I'm excited and happy!

Anyway, I am now the owner of 2 blogs. My other new blog is
A Good Question And A Good Answer

Do pay me a visit!

Post 113 : A Theoretical Spiritual Awakening

2009-07-04T22:02:00.004+08:00

Hi all! I'm back to civilization! After a one week long of computer absence, I can finally feel the pleasure as I nonchalantly click onto the keyboard. Oh yes, one of my defilement up at SBS was the dukkha of not having to go on the Internet. Anyway, it was manageable lah.

Before I really start on my experiences, let me provide a sneak peek to my spiritual background. I was what all devoted Buddhists call as Wesak Day Buddhists. Maybe I do not only go all religious on Wesak day, I do help out as much as I can in my temple and SBS lah.

I am also very easily influenced. Just a year ago, I changed my religion status from a Buddhist to "still searching". Why? Don't ask me, GOD/my karma knows!

One of the aunties from the retreat said to me. "You know, your status of seeking is just an excuse, you already know the truth but you're denying it because the truth you know is not as easy as the other truth you're considering." That was a wake up call!

True lah but I also put the blame on the shaky foundation that I've laid during my childhood days in Taiping. The sensual and worldly pleasures deluded my spiritual path. Not knowing the Noble 8 Fold Path was less important than not knowing and not developing my other worldly qualities. Funny how I grew up with such a religious family but I don't even bother to keep my 5 precepts!

So how can I be able to understand the religion that I claim to believe in without basic knowledge of the Dhamma?

"Do not go by revelation or tradition, do not go by rumour, or the sacred scriptures, do not go by hearsay or mere logic, do not go by bias towards a notion or by another person's seeming ability and do not go by the idea "He is our teacher". But when you yourself know that a thing is good, that it is not blamable, that it is praised by the wise and when practised and observed that it leads to happiness, then follow that thing."

A beautiful phrase by the Buddha from the Kalama Sutta. So simple yet so profound. He is indeed a Great Man!
Only to those whom dare to seek, only then you'll be able to taste the fruit of your labour.

Anyway, for those who do not know, retreat participants have to keep the 8 precepts. An additional of 3 to all lay Buddhists' 5. And they are :

To refrain from taking life.
To refrain from taking that which is not freely given (stealing).
To refrain from sexual misconduct (improper sexual behavior).
To refrain from lying and deceiving.
To refrain from intoxicants which lead to loss of mindfulness.
To refrain from eating at the wrong time (by only eating from sunrise to noon, one ensures that all food eaten in a day is digested before nightfall).
To refrain from all entertainment and decorations (e.g., dancing, wearing jewelry, watching movies, going to shows, etc. This especially includes entertainment that bring the viewer's mind to sexual imagery).
To refrain from using a high, luxurious bed, or beds that provide extraneous softness or comfort.

As I've explained earlier, I went in with minimal knowledge of Buddhism and zero knowledge on meditation. In fact I actually went in skeptical.

Due to this, the first few days of my meditation was unpleasant. I could only see displeasure, more and more of dukkha in my mind and I slowly got disembarked off my main purpose. My meditative routines were done in rush and forceful methods. Other participants could sit for hours and hours but all could see me snoozing away in less than 10 minutes.

I wasn't able to concentrate on my senses without the mushrooming of yet another silly question from my mind. There was just too much delusion!

In the end, I reduced my sitting time to the shortest period possible and ventured out to doing hiking meditation, sweeping leaves meditation, cutting fruits meditation and petting dogs meditation. I never learnt to watch my displeasure. I was just too skeptical and ignorant!

Despite the stunted development in meditative approaches, I gained a different form of awakening. I finally realised that my Dhamma is way way too shallow causing so much pain and displeasure in me.
A year ago, I embarked on a journey to seek for truth. I went into no-man's land and I went into self-proclaimed land. And in the end, I finally realized that I am actually on a carousel!
Yes, I went far but I am now back on where I started from. I finally realised that the answers have been with me all along. It is indeed a 360 degree ride. I'm back at ground zero.

It's time to seek deep; not far and not wide. Buddhism is a religion that requires a lot of understanding and a whole lot of profound wisdom. But I never had enough faith to seek until this retreat.

For a start, come Monday, I will be working up at SBS as a Dhamma worker. Bhante will be my CEO and my spiritual master. The uncles and aunties voluntering up at SBS will be my immediate supervisors and guidance. As for the numerous Dhamma books at SBS office and SBS library, it's time for me to start reading them.

Post 112 : Questions and Retreat

2009-06-27T00:45:00.003+08:00

Funny how we learn to appreciate people only when they're no longer with us.

I remember reading rumours and hearing gossips tarnishing the image of Michael Jackson only weeks ago. Now, since he's gone, the world of entertainment seems to be lifting the King of Pop high up on a pedestal again.

Since the news of his death was announced, his album broke through some many years long silence of topping charts. His albums were reported to be the top 10 selling albums on Amazon this evening.

Fans of MJ out there, where were you when the King of Pop was at the brink of banckrupt? Where were you when he was slapped with court charges? Where were you?

And now we all claim that he touched our lives, he lifted up our spirits when we were down and he's the best artiste around.

Where were we when he needed us most?

His death and the publics' reaction got me questioning. I suppose this is just part of the ugly human nature that breeds in us.

His death is just one of the many examples.

I really need to learn to appreciate my loved ones more. I wont wanna regret when they're no longer with me.

Anyway, I'll be leaving for an 8 days Buddhist meditation retreat tomorrow morning. Will be up on the scenic hill of SBS for this course.

I do hope that this retreat will give me strength, inner peace, deeper concentration and wisdom. This is just perfect timing for my emotionally, physically and mentally drained body.

I'm going with an open heart :)

Post 111 : Exhaustion

2009-06-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

I am dead beat tired to the brink of exhaustion that I actually slept in the premiere of Transformers.

Managing a big group ain't easy, especially when you have members of the group whom are incooperative.
Some people can be really inconsiderate...

Give me strength to face these adversities.
My physical, mental, emotional and spiritual is in dire help.

Post 110 : The Visit

2009-06-23T00:47:00.006+08:00

My group of buddies from Nottingham will be visiting Taiping tomorrow.

Ahhh, my hospitality skills and knowledge of Taiping will be put to test. Wish me luck and wish that we'll have loads of fun.

For now, I'm counting the hours to their arrivals and doing some spring cleaning to my aunt's unoccupied house. That'll be our motel for the next 4 days.

The anticipation....still bearable!

Post 109 : World No. 1

2009-06-21T17:50:00.002+08:00

Call myself an avid Badminton fan/player, I don't even know that my fellow Malaysians: Wong Pei Tty and Chin Eei Hui are currently the World Number 1 Women's Pair!

Bravo Malaysia! :)

I smell Uber Cup.......ah, so sweet is the scent of victory!

Post 108 : When I Needed You Most....... WHERE THE H**L ARE YOU?

2009-06-19T18:23:00.002+08:00

*not for the faint hearted. this is just an implosion that might offend some.

Dear GOD,

Why do you have to always fail me when I needed you most?

Not that I have recognised you as my creator. I've been searching for you for quite some time. So I do deserve this few rants at least.

These months of approval, these months of feeling of belonging,
is crossed, dashed, destroyed to the verge of near zero when incidents of such occur!

Maybe I'm exaggerating. They always say that you have a reason, you always have a plan for each of your creation. But I think I've seen enough.

God, it is a near point zero but I've decided to not give up.
However, anymore of such horrendous incidents will continue hurting me.

They ask me to watch my mouth and be cautious of my words when I'm speaking of you, but please I'm getting hurt....TERRIBLY.

I want to continue searching for you and the reason to my existence.

Make me strong...

Might-be-one-of-your-creation,
Sze Wei

Post 107 : Hurting

2009-06-18T00:57:00.003+08:00

I've learnt..........

to be not so rigid, to be not so stubborn, to be not so strict, to not expect, to not demand, to not ask what others can do for me, to be not so much of a perfectionist.....

to be or not to be? That is always the question. So simple yet profound.

At times we have to be the daredevils, at times we have to play devil's advocate, at times we have to be the crazy punk and at times we have to be the insane psychopath.

But one thing is for sure, we must learn. LEARNING is a life long process. It will only stop once your heart stops, for at least this lifetime.

I've decided. I'll just...

GO WITH THE FLOW

Post 106 : Where Am I?

2009-06-06T00:33:00.003+08:00

My family and I just got back from our vacation in KL-Malacca. And as usual, long trips like this will have me down with fever and flu. I guess I just don't drink as much water as I do when I'm away from home.

Eh Taiping water tastes best leh. Some people say because it is fresh from the hill source. Some people say we get the most rain and therefore our water doesn't stay stale. But I prefer to say that our source is from Burmese Pool, so extra "ingredients" were added on the way down to us. Who knows who pee-d and poop-ed in it?

dirty? that's our water source ^^

LOL

Statements 1 and 2 are facts. Statement 3 is bull.

My body is multi-tasking. At times both my nostrils are blocked like a stopper. At times it free-flows like a faucet. My forehead feels like a steamer. My eyes are raining.

That aside, I shall elaborate more on my KL-Malacca trip.

In KL, nothing significant happened other than the trip to Petaling Street(Malaysia's Chinatown).

It wasn't a very pleasant walk. You know how the Malaysian weather is lah-hot and humid, even the numerous water sprinkling fans didn't help much with my black drenched t-shirt. A word of advise, wearing black to places like this is not a wise decision. Listen to the experienced one :)

Another word of advise would be if you want fake goods that look real, Chinatown is the best place! But be really careful, especially if you're a foreigner. The price tags placed on the items are usually triple the purchase price. Chinatown is a tourist attraction and these hawkers know that foreigners are not masters of the art of bargain. Only a true Malaysian is.

As an example, I saw this Nike shoe that looks exactly like an original one. So I asked one of the hawkers how much is he willing to offer. Mind you it was in Manglish.

RM100 he said.

And I said, Wah, so expensive. My budget is only RM50.

And then he pointed to a row of shoes below the one I was looking at. These shoes didn't look as real though. Some actually looked cartoonish.

And the Indonesian guy said that those are worth RM70. if I want RM50, there is no way I can get Nike.

*WHAT! Fake goods also got brand consciousness!* ran through my head.

And I said, Boss, can lah, I'm only a student, I'm using my own pocket money and I have to be really thrifty. RM50 can lah. You offer RM50 I'll take it right away.

And then hawker said, ok, I can give you RM50 for those as he points to the row of cartoonish shoes.

But I insisted that I want the shoe I was holding *pretends to admire the workmanship of the shoe and then concludes with a dissatisfied face* and said, fake goods at RM90 is a bit too much. I'll rather get an original one.

He finally gave in and said ok the most I can offer is RM70. I need to eat. These shoes were not bought cheap.

And then to challenge him, I said, ok, since you're not willing to offer RM50 I wont take it. I need to eat too. What more with my tight budget. So I dramatically returned the shoe to the owner and walked off.

While I was walking out, I heard him screaming "Ok Miss, RM50! RM50! I give you special price!"

I grinned quietly and never looked back.

So do you get what I am trying to gather here?
One has to be extra cautious when shopping in Chinatown. Just like shopping in China. Don't ever get yourself cheated. Set a budget for every item you are interested to get and bargain within that budget.
I understand that these hawkers too earn a living from selling such items. Times are bad, but times are bad for all of us too. And once these items are sold too costly, it'll create a domino effect on the economy. Prices of other goods will follow suit and when reality hits you recession had already stepped in. Excessiveness and extravagance. That's why it is always wiser to aim for a balance. Spend in moderation and maintain the yin and yang. Forgive me, this is an explanation of recession from an amateur consumer's point of view.

However, I left Chinatown with a lala looking o.d.m watch and an artist cap. Will upload the pictures once I use my laptop.

Following day, we brought Cek Siang and his sister to have a look at his future education sanctuary : Nottingham University! I became the tour guide and boy was I proud when her sister called up their dad and said that the campus is just like the Taiping Lake Gardens!

In Malacca, I had my haircut and did something extreme to my hair! I had my hair fixed with blue colour extensions! Now I have 2 streaks of blue hair that some what makes me look lala. You be the judge when you see me :)

I would also like to dedicate this post to my lil cousin Yao who cried twice because we were leaving Malacca. It isn't very frequent that I get to visit Malacca and my maternal family. Not as frequent as before. One by one, we little birds are leaving the nest. Bonds that were formed isn't as easy to maintain as the only thing we have in common is the blood. Family, that's what I'm trying to say. I was so moved by his cries that I myself teared too.

Another significant incident was the case of rice I found on the bed I was sleeping on. Ever since Grandpa died, I always slept with my Grandma when I visit Malacca. So this trip, I slept with her for 4 nights but only on the final night that I found out that the bed I slept on was sprinkled with rice. Curious. I've heard of old grandmother tales claiming that raw rice is used to fend off negative energies-evil spirits. So I quietly whispered to grandma and she mumbled to confirm the story.

EEK!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

I could feel myself shivering from the top of my head to my last pointy toe!
The bed I was sleeping on belonged to my late grandfather!
So I quickly put away my phone and forcefully brought myself to slumberland.

As of now, I'm back home. Safe and sound in Taiping.

I hope I can recover soon. My body can not last long if it chooses to continue "multi-tasking".

What I need most is rest. So good night world. Back to my own bed for now.

Post 105 : Swine Flu - What Not To Do

2009-05-28T04:21:00.003+08:00

Post 104 : Pulau Ketam Dogs

2009-05-25T23:57:00.009+08:00

I rarely screw/scold/lower the esteem of anyone on my blog. At least none that I can recall. Because I understand the ethics that once the post is posted, all around the world will have their eyes on it in matter of seconds. However, I have to make an exception this time.

I am so pissed off at a particular group of Malaysians that I have to screw them publicly on my blog to vent my anger. It is the Pulau Ketam dogs issue. I'm sure this is stale news to most of you. Only today had I the opportunity to read more on it.

Those residents, what were they thinking when they sent them to exile? These strays might be an annoyance to them, creating fear of rabies, causing chaos in their town and scavenging mess in homes. BUT don't you think that abandoning these dogs in a remote island where the conditions are impossible for survival will instantly brand you as scums? You disgust me!

Most of the dogs are already dead and those who survived are skeletal.

What difference is there if you were to just put them to sleep? At least it'll be fast and painless.

Looks like the chaos in our political system and the economic downturn reduced the compassion and humanity left in the hearts of the Pulau Ketam residents to a near zero point.
Well, if our leaders up there behave of such, we can't really expect much from fellow Malaysians.

Despite these rough situations, I am not entirely embarrassed to call myself a Malaysian. Numerous NGOs and private agencies have stepped up to offer support and help. Kudos to them.

As responsible Malaysians who feel the urgency to rescue those poor dogs, join in the force by spreading the word via your blog, Facebook, MySpace, any forums and etc

You can also donate to:

Furry Friends Farm
CIMB 1457-000-1182-05-6 (Current Account)

For online interbank transfer, if it prompts for Recipient ID/Business Reg: Just type in 5766

Contributors from abroad (and Malaysia) can also send by PayPal to tvsmith@gmail.com

For info or enquiries:
The Rescue Mission Secretariat at +6012 378 3730 (Janet) or +6012 320 8090 (Zalina)
E-mail is dogrescue.pk@gmail.com

You can also e-mail TV Smith at tvsmith@mycen.com.my or Sabrina Yeap at yeapwen@yahoo.com

You can also find further updates from those involved here:

Post 103 : Short Post from KL Sentral

2009-05-24T19:25:00.002+08:00

I'm in KL Sentral right now, waiting to board the 8.00pm train back to Taiping.

My foundation has officially ended-with a BANG!

I would like to wish all my friends Congratulations for successfully completing the 3 semester foundation course in the University of Nottingham.
Make full use of this 4 months summer break to reunite with family and loved ones, work to earn extra income and most importantly rejuvenate and relax after 3 tough semesters :)

See all of you in September as senior and degree students. Take Care.

Taiping! Here I come!

Post 102 : Craziee Activities in Midst of Final Exams

2009-05-14T21:22:00.010+08:00

How crazy and wild can one's midst exam activity be? TRY MINE!

I am still in the midst of my Final Semester Final Exam. Right now, I've sat for two papers : Engineering Math and Engineering Algebra. Two down one more to go. The last paper is due in more than a week's time!

I sat for Engineering Math on the 8th of May, Engineering Algebra on the 13th of May and the Electric paper will be on the 22nd of May. Yeah, 3 papers in a time frame of 15 long days. Very relaxed and sauna-like you will say. I'll nod in agreement. Never have I been so relaxed when sitting for an exam. There is no fear in me, no jitters, no anxiety and little stress.

Similar to a coin, there is two sides to this situation. The pros and the cons. The advantage of this dreadfully long period is that I will have more resources(time and energy) to meticulously revise my subjects thoroughly and thus score tremendously well. The disadvantage would be letting the long time frame create a false impression that all is good and well. Considering my hyper active involvement in school activities, I'm always left with no choice but to burn the midnight oil, so what more when I have such long study break? Rejuvenate and then lay out plans for study sessions. Or so I say.

However, it is always up to me to disallow the cons from affecting my revision and let the pros overwhelm it. At this juncture, I proudly declare that I FAILED to do so :)

The fun started off with the Taiping trip at the beginning of my study break. I actually planned for a quiet rest in the Nottingham campus, geared with few movies I bought recently and some close friends. But my Botswanian friend Ruth is dying to visit my hometown and had been constantly nagging me for a trip there. She will be going home during our long summer break and is unable to join the rest to Taiping in June. So after much discussions and long scrutiny at our exam schedule, I decided that a 4-days trip home would not hurt, and boy was I right!

Upon buying the train tickets, everything fell into place. David, Gabriel, Qu Wern and Ruth enjoyed their rejuvenating vacation in Taiping. I have to agree that Taiping is a slow-paced town, perfect for vacation and the elderly. It is a good place for a relaxing break after the rush and hustle of our hectic semester. The pace so slow and steady, my heart grows fonder each and every trip I make to the place I can always call my home. The pictures of our vacation can be viewed on my Facebook with the album titled "Taiping Vacation" and "Taiping Vacation II".

Next was my 19th birthday celebrations. There was the drive down to One Utama for lunch in Itallianies, dinner with Tuakor and Lily Kor Kor in a Chinese restaurant at Bandar Utama, A&W dinner in Alamanda Putrajaya, dinner in Pizza Hut, Kajang and lunch in Sushi Groove, Sunway Pyramid. And of course the gifts and wishes from friends so dear that not only cheered my day but effectively removed my attention on my revision.
Pictures are also up on Facebook with the album titled "19th Birthday Celebration".

And then there was the Mid Valley trip to watch Star Trek immediately after the Engineering Math paper. It's been a long while since I last watched a good movie; Star Trek broke the long silence.

After Mid Valley, came the biggest and craziest midst-exam activity I've ever done!

A day before my Algebra paper, David drove Gabriel, Qu Wern, Yeong Jian and I up to Putrajaya at 1am in the morning for a night photography trip! Initially, I wasn't really keen in the idea of going at 1am in the morning and returning to campus at the break of dawn. It will screw up my already terribly affected biological clock and will take too much time and effort in adjusting for my Algebra paper. But a promise is a promise so I have to keep my word with David as he is an avid photographer and needs companions for his photography trip. Armed with a DSLR, my Canon IXUS, 3 flashlights and 1 personal alarm, we drove to several beautiful, breathtakingly and exquisitely designed buildings in Putrajaya for night snap shots. Pictures will be up on Facebook once the UNMC Internet connection improves.

These are few pictures that I snapped using my Canon IXUS 80 camera. However, the quality is questionable.

Beautiful full moon. Notice the streak in between the clouds? That is the trail left by a Boeing 747 from KLIA, Sepang.

Shadow of me.

Symmetrical shadow one the lake with the bridge structure.

I was moon-saluting.

Gabriel(top), Yeong Jian(left) and Qu Wern(right).

Interesting banner at the sides of the government office building. "Buat Kerja" means "Do Work" in Malay Language. Wonder why the obvious must be written on banners? Because it is 'not obvious enough' to some people.

Check out the arch! The amazing architectural design must have been complicated for the civil engineers to construct.

Street picture with me on it.

"Crash Scene"

An interesting shape for a street lamp.

I just had to prove the time :p

A COD(Call-of-duty) inspired picture.

Gabriel and Yeong Jian fooling around and looking like some documentary filming crew.

One of the government buildings with amazing architecture.

Light of Heaven!

Shadow of some shrubs that I find interesting.

Yeong Jian basking in the shadow of the shrubs.

One of the many bridges in Putrajaya.

View on the bridge. It's not uncommon to see family and couples enjoying the night view on this particular bridge.

A tree in the foreground with the Prime Minister's Office in the background.

Me with the Prime Minister's Office Building in the background.

David's DSLR undergoing a 1-minute exposure.

A self-picture of me. Blurred due to the sensitive 1-second exposure setting.

The Malaysian Prime Minister's Office.

The modern and aesthetic value of the government buildings must have taken a toll on government funds a.k.a taxpayers' money. I really hope that these buildings and structures will not end up as white elephants. We did snap a picture of an abandoned partially constructed bridge over the man-made lake in Putrajaya. The bridge takes the design of the San Francisco Golden Gate. However, the bridge wasn't constructed for vehicle use as it was too narrow.

The eerie looking bridge leaves too much to our imaginations as we silently question the purpose of the narrow structure.

After having our "breakfast" in one of the mamak outlets, we headed home. I hit the sack at 8.30 am! Reminds me of late-night assignment rush to meet due. This time minus the due date anxiety.

The Putrajaya trip did not mark an end to my midst exam activities streak.
Immediately after our Algebra paper yesterday, 10 of us drove to Kajang for a karaoke session in Metropoint Mall.

Despite these activities, I am very thankful to all my friends for pushing one another to at least complete one round of revision before sitting for the exams. We have been guiding one another and keeping each other company till 3-4am in the morning. The late night studying sessions, mamak outings, jogging in the evenings and also nights and etc have brought us closer and taught us important life lessons despite our differences.

People say that college/university life is the best time of one's life as we have little to worry for. No mortgage, no insurances, no finances and no bills. I have to disagree. In all life stages, we have different issues to tend to and worry for. I do not deny that problems while working is tougher than problems faced while studying. But problems faced right now will gear us for problems in the future. So this is twilight and this is my foundation. I shall always keep in mind that I must remain positive and let life discourse takes place.

College/University life can be the best time if we make the fullest out of it. Same goes to all. We just have to go with the flow.

My parents and brother will be coming for a visit tomorrow. And I've specially cleaned my room to await their arrival :)

Post 101 : Thank You

2009-04-30T13:36:00.002+08:00

I would like to say a big THANK YOU to all my relatives and friends out there for making my 19th birthday celebration a big fun one.

Thank you for all your sms-es, cards, greetings on Facebook, Friendster, MySpace and my blog.

A big thank you to David, Gabriel, Qu Wern, Ruth and Yeong Jian for driving all the way from Semenyih to One Utama for lunch at Itallianies. Driving at the arcade was fun and I got myself a book of great collection of poems from MPH.

And a big thank you to Tuakor and Lily Kor Kor for treating all of us to dinner at a Chinese Restaurant in Bandar Utama. Thank you for making time and effort, since it is a working day and both of you are very busy. I really feel blessed :)

Not forgetting my family back in Taiping who spoke to me for more than an hour! Dad. Mum. Ren. Kuma. Ah Ma and Ah Kong.

Pictures of my birthday outing and Taiping Vacation will be up on my Facebook once the UNMC line improves.

For now, I have a lot of contemplation and personal thinking to do. I am indeed a year older and a year nearer to my grave. Therefore, I have to be a year wiser.

Post 100 : My Decision

2009-04-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

It's pointless apologising when I do the same thing, again and again.
Yes, I am very well aware that this spot that I call my "words of thoughts" has not been 'thinking' for a very very long time. Well, the author had been really really busy trying to hold on and to keep up with her hectic life.

As I've said in my past post, I shouldn't be complaining, a busy life also means that I've gained in experiences. Some say life is a collection of experiences and I say, HECK! I have a huge collection!!!

As I promised, I will reveal my choice of engineering undergraduate in my 100th post. The golden post. Nothing to readers but a milestone for the blogger. Well, to understand the value of the 100th post, you have to first and foremost be a blogger. When one starts blogging, one has a vision in one's mind and the vision is a mission. And the mission is to be an avid and frequent blogger. However, along the way, obstacles surface, clouding the blogger from the attempted mission. Such obstacles are boredom, laziness or in my case, could not find time to sit down for a proper entry. Despite my lack of entries, I am giving myself a pat on my shoulders for going this far.

Anyway, back to my decision. After months and months of contemplation, considering both my strengths and weaknesses, career prospect and my volatile character(I'm still learning and discovering you see), I finally decided.

I came into Nottingham with a stubborn inclination towards Chemical with Environmental Engineering. Due to my exposure to Nature Club in secondary school, I believe. However, after being exposed to A-Levels Chemistry and some Chemistry based subject in my first semester, I realised that Chemistry is not my cup of tea.

Or I wasn't made to excel in Chemistry. Secondary school Chemistry is really so simple with so much of it's syllabus discarded and the subject tailored to suit certain groups of people that it gave me such false alarm. I am not really a Chemistry person and so Chemical Engineering is out.

I was then left clueless. I trotted on uncertainties. I lived in fear. I was clouded with regret!

Okay, I'm exaggerating :)

Having learnt the poem "Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost in form 4 has got its upside and downside. The poem made me realise that life is all about choices. We may regret that particular choice, for along our way, obstacles will appear and will then dishearten us. But many fail to realise that in what we do, there will be both pros and cons. So the poem also taught me to never fade and falter. The poem, in a way taught me to live a life of a determined person. To be strong, unrelenting and to be rich in vigor. The downside? These only sound easy theoretically, but practically? Tough one. The current economic downturn is a good example. Many grew with maturity but there are several ones whom were forced to the verge of suicide, giving in in despair. So I hope that the poem is not infusing me with over-confidence.

Despite the confusion, I was sure of one thing, and that is to stick to being the SuperNatureMan. So I thought of doing Electrical Engineering. Creating environmental friendly gadgets, taking into consideration the predicament of the gadget when it is deemed useless and obsolete. From cradle to grave.
And apparently, in the future, electrical engineers will be the most sought after $.$
But that would be merely considering the job prospect. No passion. Nil. Nada. Zilch.
I don't really enjoy Electricity as a subject, never took the initiative to understand circuits, if not for the exams and is always blur when it comes to electric lab modules.

Growing up a tomboy, I have very few Barbies. In fact, my humble collection of dolls were gifts from relatives and friends. I never pestered for any. Growing up with a brother, I was then exposed to Lego, Bionicle, remote control race cars, robotic gadgets and etc. Weird eh? Wicked!

In form 5, I actually thought of doing architecture. Nevertheless, I rashly discarded that thought. I know I can never create a name for myself in the architecture industry as I am not so much of creativity. I am more innovation and developing ideas of others.
Combining both reasons: Lego and building architecture, I would love to do Civil Engineering!

Eco friendly structures, hmmmmmm, not bad. Not bad at all. Being a civil engineer would bring me one step further in construction. I will be in some way realizing the dreams of an architect. An architect dreams but a civil engineer builds! However, due to certain strong reasons that I am not allowed to reveal, I have to go against the will of my childhood dreams :(

Chemical with Environmental : Slash
Electrical : Slash
Civil : Slash

YEAH.....

I am doing MECHANICAL ENGINEERING.

But of course, I didn't choose this course because I discarded the rest. There are few reasons that I've considered and I'll try summarizing them here.

1. I love to look at moving objects and try understand the source of motion.
2. I understand better using my 5 senses.
3. I prefer hands-on learning.
4. Mechanical engineering is the broadest engineering. Suitable for a jack of all trades but master of none like me :)
5. AND the largest factor in my decision : my recent realization that renewable energy sources is where my passion is. Yes, I would love to be an Energy Engineer. To be one, I must have basic in Mechanical Engineering.

6. Mechanical Engineers deal with machines. Once the machine is designed to be efficient, minimal input will induce maximum output, thus, minimizing wastes and reduces pollution.

But then again, everything is uncertain. All things in life are impermanent. How many actually end up with careers related to their course of study?
For that matter, work and study are 2 very distinct entities. The knowledge gained from the pursuit of this degree may provide so little foundation, that once I am set for the working world, I'll have to start from scratch.

This degree of mine(hopefully I can graduate) will just be a start off point. An engineering degree is such a versatile course that do not be surprised if I end up as an economist, psychologist or a Buddhist nun!

As for now, I shall just keep on moving forward and take things positively.
My mid term exams just marked an end, classes for this final semester are over and I am currently on my study break. Final exams start on the 2nd week of May. So for now, I'll be relaxing and having fun in the company of lovely friends.

I will be heading home for Taiping tomorrow evening. 3 of my uni friends will be joining me. Plans are set mainly food, places, food and more food. And bonding time.

Yipee YAY! :)

Post 99 : The Infinite Movement of Earth

2009-03-23T23:37:00.009+08:00

Fact 1 : The earth has been infinitely rotating on its axis.
Fact 2 : I have not been properly updating my blog.
Fact 3 : I have too much to handle at this point of my life.
Fact 4 : I am torn between engineering undergraduate courses.
Fact 5 : I am dead beat exhausted from all that is happening and happened.
Fact 6 : I have a mid term exam in 2 days time and I'm 0% prepared.

I apologize for the lack of decent posts in this "dust and mite infested" blog. I have been really busy. Like REALLY BUSY. I shouldn't be complaining considering that a busy life also means that my days have been really meaningful and colourful.
I have so much to tell, so much to blog on but so little time for me to do so.

Anyway, I am taking some time off to form my words into sentences of rant. I finally realise that I have to blog. I need to vent my frustrations, anger and emotions into something somewhat meaningful. I need some place to seek solace and ease my excitement.

I have achieved so much yet so little. I have trotted this far yet I still have so far to go.
I am indeed a 'small' girl from a small town with big dreams. I have always dreamed to soar high, dreamed of moving mountains, dreamed of changing lives and dreamed of creating an impact on mankind. I have always harboured this huge dreams since I was a little kid. And finally, at this point of my life, I can say that these dreams have been my faithful map and my honest guide.

Then came along the simple thought of devoting myself to more personal and spiritual achievements.

*poof*

I need to unleash these buggy questions in my head.
What is life? Why are we here? What is the meaning to our existence?

Where is my burning desire?
Have I lost the passion to green the earth?
Have I lost the devotion to touch as many lives as I can?

It has been rather impossible to stress this to myself. Where is the sentiment?

Why do my thoughts change so often that I find it impossible to keep in pace?

Civil. Mechanical. Electrical. Electronics. Chemical.

What should I do? It seems like I have equal points to accept them all and discard them all.
I am running out of time. I am supposed to submit my choice in 20 days time. No wait, it was 20 days time 3 days ago! So I have to submit my choice of engineering in 16 days time!

You! You! You! Stop procrastinating! Everyone around me are procrastinators and I am a hypocrite.

To be honest and wholesomely honest to the world out there, I have lost my zest in greening mother earth. Not fully and entirely. Part of me is still very aware of the inconvenient truth.

It is just that I have found passion in something else, something I wasn't able to discover until lately. Something with better landmarks on my map. Something with a much more reliable guide that I finally know; yes, I am destined for that.

No, I'm not going to quit engineering. It will definitely be my basic degree. But I know, I will never end up as an engineer. I was fully aware of this quite some time ago. Knew this all along, even when I signed in for my A-levels at Taylors, knew it when I quit and knew this when I signed in for the foundation of engineering in Nottingham.

My drive has always been some where else.

Initially, it was mother earth.

But now, I want to be another Mother Teresa.

*gasps*

I do not want to merely squander my time on earth being fickle.

I have to decide and stick to it.

Time is running out.

Post 98 : To All Inactive OWA Users

2009-03-15T18:54:00.004+08:00

This is a copy of the recent mail that I sent to all Foundation Engineering students. I'm aware that some of us rarely and in fact do not open our OWA mails to check for updates.
So this copy is for stumble-upons and all Foundation Engineering Notts' bloggers.

AND PLEASE REPLY. The whole purpose of the meeting if for your feedback :)

Hi fellow students!

I believe that most of you who reads your OWA mail diligently are aware of the upcoming SSFC (Staff-Student Feedback Committee) meeting.

Therefore, I would like to ask for feedback from all of you regarding your academic experience for the past few weeks in Semester 2.

Please e-mail your opinions, constructive critisms, complaints, compliments etc to me at my OWA mail by Tuesday (17th March 2009).

Examples : course outline, assignments, lecturers' performance, compulsory & elective subjects and ANYTHING AT ALL!!

This is to ensure that our "side of story" will be told. Exercise your rights as a student. Let your voice be heard. And let us all bring change to where it is needed.

We (Ruth, Isaac, Esdelyn and I) will try our best! You have my word for that :)

Cheers,
Sze Wei, Lim
Student and Course Representative for Foundation in Engineering

Post 97 : Carpe Diem

2009-03-12T15:56:00.006+08:00

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Yes, I seized my day!

If you've been an avid reader of "Words of Thoughts", you will most probably know that the author of this site is a person with little to zero determination. She gives up easily. She gets disheartened by small failures. She dents unnecessarily over little fractures. And she is yours truly! Bah, you get my point.

Upon self-realization of my Achilles heel, I have vowed to change.
Yesterday, I saw the fruits of my labour :)

The Sports Carnival has been going on for the past 2 weeks. 3 days ago, Badminton kick-started with a bang! OK, maybe it was "bang" for my team. We practically 'ta-powed'(flattened) most of our opponents on our journey to the finals. 4-1, 5-0 and 5-0. Bang! Bang! Bang! all the way to finals. Not surprising, really, considering that we have an ex-Selangor and an ex-KL player in my team. So no matter how bad the rest of us screwed up, we always had them to rely on :)

However, in yesterday's finals, things were not as flowery. The opponent team is as good as my team. It was a 50-50 bet, all depending on our form. Before I elaborate further, let me just "potong stim" (spoiler) here and inform all of you that we lost. 2-3. We lost to the combination of Civil E, E&E E and Pharmacy team.

I played and lost in the women's singles and women's doubles event.
I wasn't good enough to play against the other team's women players. They were fantastic and tremendous. Kudos to them for they deserve to win.

However, neither did I sulk nor cry when I walked out of the losing battle. In fact, I walked off with my shoulders squared and chin held high. I congratulated my opponent and graciously thanked the umpire for the great match. Surprising isn't it? This is definitely not the usual Sze Wei that all have come to know. This is the changed version of me I would say :)

The reason : I was trailing badly in the 1st half of the 1st match. 5-11. In the 2nd half, I continued fighting and not giving up. Placed a few tricky shots here and there hence managed to buck up but lost with a score of 16-21.
In my 2nd match, the worst accident that can happen to any Badminton player occurred on me. I sprained my ankle while playing...WTF you will say :) My heart was screaming that crude word the moment pain seared from my wrenched ankle.
I nearly wanted to give up, give it a walk-over for my opponent as I still have to play in the women's doubles match. It was as if my sparkle of light in a pitch-dark dungeon was blown off on purpose.
Ah, that was the old Sze Wei. The easily disheartened one.

So thank goodness, the newer version of me overwhelmed the "evil" one and I decided to stay on fighting. The bad news is I lost. Still lost. But hey, that's not my point! My point is I did not let the small sprain in my ankle from quitting the game. Yes! I seized the day! I seized the day when determination was sparingly written all over my forehead! Carpe Diem!

Speaking of carpe diem, I would love to officially congratulate my brother and two of cousins for their recent SPM and STPM results. They carpe diem-ed too!!!

To Chong Ren, Jacy and Chun Ren,

CONGRATULATIONS!!! With your tremendous SPM and STPM results, the sky is not even your limit :)

I am so darn proud of the 3 of you, I actually teared! =...)))

As for Chong Ren, I am so happy that you finally proved to everyone that YOU BOLEH! You even broke my record! Muahahahahahaha! But then, I can't afford that DSLR lah. Maybe when I start working lah. But for now, I sponsor part of your new hand phone, can? Can LAH! LOL...

Some Chakra personality test I took. Reminds me of my Reiki sessions with Master Law

You Are the Third Eye Chakra

You are insightful and spiritual. You trust your intuition.

You are deeply philosophical. You spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing.

You are wise beyond your years. People turn to you for direction and hope.

You are a clear thinker. You often know what you want to do and how you're going to do it.

What Chakra Are You?

Post 96 : My First Futsal Experience

2009-03-03T22:13:00.006+08:00

Maybe I am destined to be one.
Maybe I was made for that.
Maybe that is the only position I can play and shine in.

Today, I had my first experience with Futsal. And just like my past experiences with Netball, Handball and any other ball related sport, I was made the goalkeeper.
It is definitely due to my height. No, not talent nor skill. Seriously, I have neither. I have height and the interest to play, or to be exact : an interest to pick up a skill.

Professor Ian Pashby at the opening ceremony

So basically, as you can read from my past post, I did mention the Sports Carnival that is ongoing for this week and the upcoming week.
I started off with frisbee yesterday. The game was totally crazy! It was raining cats and dogs. So we had to continue playing under the unusually heavy rain for the month of March(maybe I don't know Semenyih well?). So obviously, there was little to zero grip when we tried to get our hands on the disc. Even when we threw, the gravitational force of the rain is so strong that at certain distance from our throw, the force overwhelmed the centripetal force of the disc.

Under the heavy rain. That is my team against the Red Mechanical Engineering team.

The organisers finally called the games to a halt when few lightning bolts were seen searing the mighty vast sky.

And as for today, I played futsal. So before I start, let me give you a little insight on my knowledge of futsal. The one and only experience I had with futsal was on TV. It was some Malaysian chick flick that I have forgotten the title. Back then, I concluded that futsal=baby version of football in an indoor stadium. And for the formal rules and regulations of futsal, I had to actually google "How to play futsal". Call me pathetic. Yes, I am :)

So anyway, we got knocked out in the preliminary rounds. Because we lost 0-1 to the School of Pharmacy team and drew 1-1 to the School of Business team. Nevertheless, me and my team had a BLAST! My other team mates were 4 Bostwanians: Sally the captain, Lesh Kale the attacker, Ruth the defender and Precious the midfielder. According to them and our opponents, I did a great job :)
They commented on some of my skills and said that I should keep on trying and never give up. There will be future futsal events and I can still take part.

My Futsal TEAM

I don't know if it's just a habit of the foreigners and their culture to be abundant in their praises. Or could it be that I actually have a knack for balls??

But I would definitely go for the latter :)

According to few friends of mine, I am too much of a perfectionist and shouldn't be too hard on myself.
But according to one friend, I aim high for what I love to do but gives no damn to something that I am forced to do and have totally no interest in.

But, I say human nature! That is how close I am to civilisation. I am human after all :)

Post 95 : Art Career

2009-02-28T01:29:00.003+08:00

When I decided to pursue Engineering for my tertiary, I actually thought that it was the end to my art prospect. No more drafting, no more drawing, no more sketching and no more painting; well, at least for the next five years.

Even if diagrams of structures were required, everything would have to be done using Autocad.

I was proven wrong, again. Indeed, LIFE IS ART and vice versa, ART IS LIFE.
For this semester, one of the subjects that I am doing is Digital Media. The name of the subject itself is self-explanatory. We are supposed to learn animation programmes which incorporates audio, visual and video.
One of our assignments is to produce a 3D animated short clip using Autodesk MAYA animation programme. So before putting our ideas into animation form, we are supposed to picture them on paper using pen and pencil.

So here goes :
I finally completed my part!
Now, I will have to wait for approval from my other group members :)

I shall never ever regret taking Art for SPM instead of Accounts. I couldn't afford both during my SPM year due to my over-hectic schedule and hyper-active involvement in school activities. Between those 2 subjects, I finally decided to forgo the latter.

Anyway, it has been a long long while since I last updated my blog "properly". Nothing much has been posted of my current condition in Nottingham.
For the least, I am STILL alive, and kicking too.

It has been rather hectic for the past few weeks. For weeks to come, more is predicted! Therefore, chances of me blogging might be reduced from little to zero.

To sum up, there is a sports carnival coming up and I had to sign up for 6 different events namely :
1. Badminton
2. Netball
3. Futsal
4. Frisbee
5. Tuck of War
6. Cycling

I will be representing Purple Poseidon, the School of Foundation team. I would hereby wish all my other Purple Poseidon-ers all the best and remember to have fun while we kick the "asses" of all our seniors. Time to show that age doesn't matter when it comes to sporting events, but determination and team work are the keys that matters most :)

ALL THE BEST PURPLE POSEIDON

And then, there will be at least 4 more assignments for the rest of the semester, that will end in April.
Mid term exam is scheduled to begin in 2 weeks time. So far, I am not even close to trying! Really, I can't afford to screw up this semester. Maintaining is so much more difficult than attaining. Because once you are up there, expectations of oneself would be held up higher and higher on imaginary pedestals.

Post 94 : Slumdog Millionaire Oscar-ed!!!

2009-02-23T13:58:00.004+08:00

Slumdog Millionaire wins EIGHT Oscars!

From Times Online:

After sweeping all before it at awards ceremonies this year, the rags-to-riches story of an orphan from the Mumbai slums who wins the Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire was expected to achieve glory and did not disappoint..
Boyle leapt up and down in delight as he collected the award, the film's seventh of the night.
After bouncing up the stairs to receive his Oscar, the 52-year-old said: "My kids are too old to remember this now but when they were much younger, I swore to them if this miracle ever happened, I would receive it in the spirit of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh," he told the Academy audience.
"You have been so generous to us this evening. Thank you for that. And what a beautiful show you've done."
He also praised all the actors and crew from Mumbai who helped him make the film, many of whom will return to the Mumbai slums after the glittering event.
Boyle beat David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Stephen Daldry (The Reader), Gus Van Sant (Milk) and Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon) to win the award.
Accepting the award for best adapted screenplay, writer Simon Beaufoy joked: "There are certain places in the universe you never expect to be standing.
"For me it's the moon, the South Pole, the Miss World podium and here."
Slumdog Millionaire's other awards include best adapted screenplay and original score.
Earlier in the evening, looking both delighted and overwhelmed, the Indian cast of the British-made film arrived on the red carpet outside the 81st Academy Awards in Hollywood, amid predictions that they would take home the Oscar for Best Picture.

Among the Slumdog actors photographed as they made their entrance to the Kodak Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard yesterday afternoon were Azharuddin Mohammed, 10, and Rubina Ali, 9, who were flown over for the ceremony from the Mumbai slum in which they live.
They were invited to the ceremony at the last minute, amid concerns about how the children might react to being exposed to the glitziest night in the LA social calendar, and then flown back to the squalour of their tarpaulin-covered homes.
But for tonight at least, awkward questions about the young actors' futures were on hold.
All the crowds, people shouting,it's fantastic, we're having an amazing time," said Slumdog's director, Danny Boyle.
Added Freida Pinto, who played the love interest in the movie: "This is the happiest moment, ever. It's great to have everyone here together, we're one big Slumdog family."
In total, Slumdog collected 10 nominations ahead of tonight's Oscars ceremony, compared with 13 nominations for its biggest rival in the Best Picture category, Brad Pitt's The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Oscar 2009 full list of winners :

Best Film: Slumdog Millionaire (Christian Colson, Producer)

Director: Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Best actor: Sean Penn (Milk)

Best actress: Kate Winslet (The Reader)

Supporting actress: Penelope Cruz (Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona)

Supporting actor: Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black (Milk)

Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire)

Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt and Victor J. Zolfo (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Costume Design: Michael O'Connor (The Duchess)

Make Up: Greg Cannom (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Cinematography: Anthony Dodd Mantle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Documentary feature: James Marsh and Simon Chinn (Man On Wire)

Documentary short: Megan Mylan (Smile Pinki)

Best Animation: Andrew Stanton (WALL-E)

Best Animated Short: Kunio Kato (Le Maison en Petits Cubes)

Live Action Short: Jochen Alexander Freydank (Spieezeugland)

Visual effects: Eric Barba, Steve Pregg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Sound editing: Richard King (The Dark Knight)

Sound mixing: ResuI Pootkutty (Slumdog Millionaire)

Film editing: Chris Dickens (Slumdog Millionaire)

Best score: A R Rahman (Slumdog Millionaire)

Best song: Jai Ho by A R Rahman (Slumdog Millionaire)

Foreign language: Departures (Japan)

Post 93 : Dog Food

2009-02-19T16:36:00.003+08:00

I, Lim Sze Wei officially announce that I tasted Alpo, dog food today.

There it was, lying on Emmet's desk with it's dark red hot wrapper.
At one glance, I knew it was a big packet of hot&spicy Mr Potato chips.
Without much consideration, I quickly grabbed hold of it.
Amir was faster. In a matter of nanoseconds, the bag of chips was in his hands.
One handful of chips and poof! off into his mouth.
Bryan, Sung Fung and I carefully re-scrutinize the bag.
ALPO!!!!
Alpo. Amir just had a handful of dog food and now, he is going on with his second and third!
"Mmmmmm, this tastes better than Whiskies(cat food)"

Next moment, I tasted ALPO!

So much so for curiosity. If you see me barking, I believe it is due to the side effects.
And don't ask me how did it taste like?
I was curious and the effort bared fruit. I'm now beyond culinary cuisine :)

Post 92 : Quickie

2009-02-16T20:31:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry for not updating my blog for such a long period of time. I can see spider webs forming and thick layers of dust covering the surface of my blog from my other fellow bloggers and readers.

Even if I updated, the updates were just silly quizzes from some website. In fact, I did those personality quizzes in the middle of my IT class when my lecturer was lecturing on audio and video editing software. I wasn't paying attention.......sigh.

I don't know if it's due to certain "distractions" that have been causing some emotional turmoil in me. As for that, I shall just take my time and observe. No jump boats like what a friend advised.
But hey, even if it didn't work out, I believe that this will be another good test for me. Either ways, long lasting lessons will be engraved in me.

Or it could have been due to so, so many activities happening around me.

The Nature Club Annual Garage Sale just ended, and boy, it was great success!!! Managed to sell some great items such as PC, PDA, guitars, furniture and etc. Not much revenues made because we did not charge a single cent for our man-power. BUT at least, the message of saving our environment by reducing, recycling and reusing was imparted to all fellow Nottinghammers. One man's trash is another man's treasure :)

And then, I have been busy training for the upcoming Badminton tournament that I have to do at least 1 hour of vigorous training per day. I have to regain my stamina that I once had.

Next, there is an Education Conference that all school representatives must play a role in. Have been rather busy promoting to all my foundation mates. It will be held tomorrow at the Great Hall. Another opportunity for me to flaunt my formal attire, for that matter.

Next week, there will be a Frisbee HAT league! Got to know my team members just few hours ago and tossed some disc around. Glad I am in the same team as Qu Wern, at least this is another reason for his responsibility in training me :) GO GREENS! GO!
Sigh, I hope I won't be a BAD liability to the group. I joined to pick up new skills of Frisbee and learn to work as a team. Didn't know that it is this VIGOROUS and tough. Shall face all these with a positive attitude then! I will do my very best for my team :)

This is as much I can write. Spent way too much time in this quickie. Time for my homework!

Post 91 : Albus Dumbledore

2009-02-16T15:36:00.002+08:00

Pardon me, I was bored while my lecturer was imparting her knowledge.

Yeah, I WAS NOT paying attention :(

You Scored as Albus Dumbledore

Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Hermione Granger

80%

Albus Dumbledore

80%

Remus Lupin

80%

Ron Weasley

70%

Sirius Black

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Severus Snape

60%

Harry Potter

60%

Ginny Weasley

55%

Lord Voldemort

20%

Post 90 : Blue

2009-02-16T15:33:00.001+08:00

You Scored as Blue

Your heart is blue. You are a very calm and relaxed person. You are very caring and like helping others. You're grateful for what you have in life, even if it's not perfect. People love you for who you are, don't ever change that- it's what makes you the great person that you are.

Yellow

86%

Blue

86%

Pink

82%

Red

14%

Black

14%

Green

14%

Purple

Orange

White

Post 89 : In The Arms of an Angel

2009-02-16T15:21:00.001+08:00

You Scored as Angel

Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.

Mermaid

75%

Angel

75%

Dragon

50%

WereWolf

50%

Faerie

25%

Demon

Post 88 : Religion/Theology

2009-02-16T15:08:00.001+08:00

You Scored as Religion/Theology

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Religion, Theology, or a related major.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology is a good minor to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Religion/Theology

100%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

94%

Mathematics/Statistics

94%

Education/Counseling

94%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

94%

HR/BusinessManagement

88%

Psychology/Sociology

88%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

88%

English/Journalism/Comm

81%

Visual&PerformingArts

75%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

63%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

56%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

50%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

38%

Post 87 : Amazing 44 US Presidents Morph

2009-02-05T19:10:00.004+08:00

This is one piece of video art that all of you should watch!!!

The video shows the morphing of all the 44 US Presidents, from George Washington to the recently inaugurated President : Barack Obama.

Watch this video as it's an amazing work of art on few of the most remarkable citizens of America.

Post 86 : Chinese New Year

2009-02-02T21:23:00.012+08:00

I'll let these pictures do the talking in describing my CNY celebrations for the 2009 year of ox.
Here goes :

That is me and my maternal grandmother whom i fondly call "gua ma".
It was taken during my cousin's wedding.

The ingredients for mum's homemade CNY cookies.

I made these chocolate muffins, all by myself. I'm so proud of myself :)

Two boxes worth of Yee Sang for the reunion dinner on CNY eve.

Lou! Lou! Lou! Lou for an ox-picious and bull-eh year!

The mess we made!

I managed to snap only 3 pictures from the reunion dinner at CRC. Was busy eating throughout the WHOLE dinner. I couldn't resist the steamboat and had so much if it. Went home vomiting due to indigestion. So much for gluttony.

At the end of the dinner, we were given free mandarin oranges from CRC, the place we had our reunion dinner. Out of boredom, I came up with the idea of playing basketball using the seed from the oranges. Likewise, to the basketball game, we shoot the seed into the steamboat pot using our mouths. This might sound easy but trust me. Most of us spit and miss the pot. Funniest thing was when one of us accidentally missed but hit Ah Kong's head instead!

Reunion lunch popiah. My popiah masterpiece :p

Ah Ma showing off her wrapping skills. She was the one that cooked the materials for popiah. A great cook she is plus decades worth of experience.

Ah Kong happily munching away, enjoying the popiah. He must be thinking, "hmm, I married the right woman!". LOL

More candid shots of Ah Kong.

The Lim family feasting. My parents were missing as they had guests.

More shots from the reunion lunch.

My first few ang pows on the first day of CNY.

We then travelled down south to mum's hometown : Malacca. Met up with few of my cousins and had a good bonding time.

Here are some shots from the outing we had in a kopitiam. At that moment, Peyru, Peggy and Zheng San had left for Australia. I don't have any pictures of all of us in gua ma's house. Shall just summarize what we did with all of them.
1. Blackjack
2. Talk cock
3. Mellon game
4. Pepsi Cola game
5. Mo Kui(directly translated means ghost)
6. Crap
7. More crap
8. And more crap

4 of us enjoying our Nissin noodle while Jacy had a good snap of us.

My Mocha ice blended.

Yao's blue lemon fizz. Jacy's strawberry smoothie. Ren's honeydew smoothie. Couldn't snap Hui's drink. He was too fast!

Angry faces of Ren, Jacy and Yao.

The three lala posers.

Hui was busy onlining, as usual.

Awww, Yao is so cute in this. Can't believe that he is 10! He looks 5 in this.

Armph!

Porn? NO! mobile phone games.

My 5th uncle whom we fondly call "Gor Ku". He is the father of both Jin Hui and Jin Yao.

Jacy and Yao.

Me and Jin Hui. Both busy surfing the net.

A night before I left Taiping and returned to KL, my parents organised a BBQ party in my house. Not many pictures were taken cause I was busy barbecuing/burning chicken wings and sweating my liquids out. Thanks to Ah Ma and Lei, less chickens were BURNT. Ah, you get what I mean.

Parents' badminton kaki and friends.

Blackjacking.

More blackjacking.

And more blackjacking.

Lonely pile of cards, my wallet, my phones and my empty box drink.
The remains when all had leave.

I'm back in my Uni. After 2 whole weeks of rejuvenation and restoration, I hope that I'll be able to face my final semester of foundation with more determination and discipline.

Post 85 : PETRONAS never fail me

2009-01-23T20:24:00.006+08:00

NO, I'm not blogging on fuel prices.

Chinese New Year is in 2 days time. I'm back in my hometown. What about you?

Funny how when I was little, Chinese New Year meant only ang pows to me. From one auntie to another uncle, I would smile my widest grin(not mentioning cutest), stare at them with little hopeful bambi eyes and wish them a Happy Chinese New Year-all effort for the sake of the money filled red packet that the Chinese refer to as Ang Pow. Upon receiving the ang pow, temptations to rip off the red packet and check the value in it is so strong that I can actually call this as my annual meditation practice! Well, the cookies and sugar laid on the table did help a little in distracting myself from that rude manners.

There you see. Am I very "prosperous" in the first few days of the new year? Considering that all I had in mind was ang pows and more ang pows, I am kick-starting my new year with "prosperity"! HAHAHAH!!!

However, as I grew up, my perception of Chinese New Year took a 180 degrees turn.
Thanks to PETRONAS commercials I would say. It has never failed in making me shed tears :)

I particularly love this year's advertisement.

Here it is. Managed to download this from YouTube. Such good messages should go a long way.

In my opinion, this year's commercial delivered 2 important messages.
1. Regret
2. Repent

The son featured in the video regrets his attitude towards his late father when his late father was still alive. And at the end of the video, the son finally repents and invites his mother to move in with him because he knows that time is limited with her.

Kudos to Yasmin Ahmad and the crew of this production. Thumbs up to all of you :)

It takes a really deep understanding of the Malaysian Chinese community to be able to come up with such moving messages.

In my personal opinion of the Chinese community, I would like to relate my little story of child-like "prosperity" to the situation faced by many old Chinese parents around me and my country. Most Chinese parents that I know, or at least both my parents have been plotting and planning a beautiful life for their bundle of joy ever since we inhaled the first gasp of oxygen into our tiny lungs. And I'm sure most responsible parents around do the same.

Despite rebellions and cruel remarks from our ignorance, the love of a responsible parent can never falter. Nothing can be as powerful as the love of a dad and a mum.

As we grow up, we then realise.

We then notice the simple dedication of our parents and will finally vow to work hard and provide our parents with big mansions, a minimum number of 4 maids, a Benz with a driver and of course a lovely old-age. But truthfully, all our parents ever want is not in materials form nor in monetary forms. All they ever want would be NOTHING! Because all they ever wished for is LOVE, CARE and RESPECT.

I am equating this 3 to NOTHING for prosperity in most Chinese would be in monetary and materials form. Since love isn't money, therefore LOVE is NOTHING.

SIGH....When will be the time when we can finally be able to equate properity with rich in love and care? Ah, Chinese....Chinese.... Why are we so business minded and behaving like money eyed monsters?

At such an age, we can yet to decipher the truth to this 3 important elements. We always think that oh yes, I have to provide my parents with big house, big car and big bowls. And then we work our butts off and fail to visit them frequently.

When they call to find out our current status, we reject their calls because we are in our board meeting, trying to impress our bosses for another promotion. Why so? Well, to earn even more money to provide them a better old age lah. Even when we speak to them over the phone, we give them crude remarks and speak to them unwillingly for we have been drained out by our work.

We would probably be thinking, "this old hag, nagging again. Can't you see I'm busy making money to give you more?"

Not until we have our own kids only can we finally understand the true dedication and unfaltering love of a parent. However, at this point of life, other excuses will come in. "Ma, no time, I have my kid now, no time to go home." and bla bla bla.......excuses.

When will you be able to go home?

When will you be able to provide LOVE, CARE and RESPECT to the two old folks waiting loyally for your arrival?

GO HOME NOT ONLY FOR THIS CHINESE NEW YEAR.

Visit them as often as you can.

LOVE, CARE and RESPECT for both your parents for one day they will leave this world. And it'll be too late. Show them and tell them that you love them before their time comes.

YOU WOULD WANT THE SAME FROM YOUR OWN CHILDREN

and yes, GONG XI FA CAI to all my Chinese friends out there. Drive carefully and be safe :)

Post 84 : Getting to Know Thyself

2009-01-22T13:47:00.002+08:00

I tried on the personality test that Ji Ming did. I thought that his was rather accurate. Since I want to know more of my inner self, no harm trying right?

Here it is :

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

And the link to this test if you want to try it out for yourself .

Post 83 : Curtains Down for Semester 2

2009-01-15T16:37:00.003+08:00

I am finally free. Well, at least for the next 3 weeks. And it isn't EXACTLY free FREE. Free right now would mean free from assignments, academic materials, clubs and societies for the next 3 weeks. Which can also bring another meaning which is : BUSY with activities I had to put a temporary halt on for over the past 3 months.

In life, we can never be FREE. We only consider ourselves free when we're doing activities out of passion and also activities that do not tie us down with a rigid and constant schedule for example : a book, blogging, playing games and etc. But when we're with our 8-5 job and 5cm thick book, we are tied down with a rigid and constant schedule which might at times bore us to our cores and create implosions within our restless souls.

Since coming out of the exam hall 2 hours ago, I feel some kind of weird emotion gushing and circulating in me. One moment, there is relief, another moment, there is fear and right now, anxiety. So much happened in Semester 2. So, so much that the little processor in my brain is still slowly trying to defragment the information.

As for now, I have a lot of research to do, piles of novels waiting to be scrutinized and even more lessons to be learnt. It's time for CHANGE.

Post 82 : War-Torn Country

2009-01-06T15:39:00.002+08:00

As a very young Malaysian whom has never lived through the invasion of the British, Japanese or even Portuguese, I can never ever feel the pressure of having to live in a war-torn situation.

As I flip through newspapers, I see pictures and pictures of devastation. Pictures of broken homes. Pictures of people mourning over the bodies of their dead relatives. Pictures of mass destruction.

With the help of these pictures, I then try to imagine the horrendous situation in the war-torn countries and districts. I then see fear. I see death. I see anxiety. I see trepidation. I see wickedness. I see suffering. All I can do is just imagine. BUT, I can never ever ever feel the pain that these poor citizens of war are undergoing.

Having to bid goodbye to your father who is out to get food might be the final goodbye. He might never return again.
Going to bed fearing that tonight will be your last night and you can never wake up to see the Sun shining bright on you again.
Hunger, sickness and lethargy is nothing to you for all you have is the desire to keep yourself and your family alive.

I am positive that what I have imagined is just a small part of the suffering that these poor people are undergoing. To fully feel their pain is impossible for I've never lived under their roofs and walked in their shoes. I can only cry with them and pray that one day, their suffering would be eased by the wise politicians around the world. But what is done? What has been done?

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?

All living creatures were made equal. Even animals and insects. Who gave some of us the right to kill? What has power, fame and glory done to humanity? Who gave us the right to punish the unpunished ones but not judge your misjudgments?

SHAME ON YOU INVADERS

What is it that they have done to deserve such a life? What difference is there between me and them that I get to enjoy a happy life, sheltered under a roof and comfortable below the wings of my loving parents. Karma was the only answer I could think of.

Your current life karma will determine the condition of your future lives.

So to all you invaders out there, YOU MIGHT BE AN INVADER RIGHT NOW HAVING CONTROL OF YOUR MULTI-MILLION WEAPONS BUT IN FUTURE LIVES TO COME, BEWARE YOU MIGHT BE A VICTIM OF HUMAN MASS DESTRUCTION.

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

Post 81 : A Year in Review

2008-12-31T20:52:00.022+08:00

How are you embracing the last few moments of year 2008?

How are you welcoming in the New Year?

How are you watching the rhythmic tick of the clock as it finally reaches the 12 mark after a consistent 360 degrees turn?

For the past years, I have always been celebrating the end of a fulfilling year by sending sms-es to my family and friends. Every year, without fail, Maxis and Digi will be able to net at least rm10 from the well-wishes that I give out. Then, I will go to bed and wake up to the bright morning Sun of a new year.

I always thought that time is a constant passer-by. There is no device of man's creation that has the ability to retrieve lost time or go down memory lane by visiting the past. Days and years are meaningless to me as I always strive to live each passing moment to the fullest. I have learnt to tell myself to never look back, regretting any actions that I've done. To me, life is a learning process and minor glitches will be an experience in nurturing the maturity of some parts of me.

If life is assimilated to a school, then causes would be the syllabus and the effects would be the ever patient teacher.

Therefore, years to mark time is really pointless to me for no matter what year is it, what decade is it, my life would forever be dedicated in discovering an enlightened state of mind where nothing external can interfere with my internals.

So why celebrate a new year when days and years to mark time are that meaningless?

Why list out all your resolutions for the year when changes should be done constantly and not yearly?

Seriously, what does a new year means to you? Is it similar to a new week? A new day? Or even a new hour? New minute? New second?

To me, celebrating a new year would mean celebrating impermanence. How am I celebrating "impermanence" then?

As you can see, I am pathetically spending the last few hours of 2008 by blogging. I was supposed to visit Sunway Pyramid for a movie and go to Subang Jaya to join my friend's church in their Watch Night. For once, I thought I could celebrate "impermanence". It is something new having to be able to celebrate the New Year what more celebrating it the Christian way? However, things did not go that well and I was forbidden to go all the way to Subang Jaya and come back at such hour. Paranoia. Lack of trust. Bad example. To summarise positively : LOVE for me.

As I clicked on links and tumbled from blogs to blogs, I saw a new trend of blogosphere. The new form of new year's "party". The trend is to blog on milestones of the year.

Initially, I thought that it was really unnecessary to show the IT-savvy world on how many tattoos one painfully pierced on one's body, how many short-lasting relationships one got oneself in and etc. You get my point. But then again, as I thought it over, wouldn't it be nice to be able to read your yearly achievements in just one post?

Considering that I don't keep a diary and my blog can pass off as my diary, why not be in the trend and flaunt the fashion? :)

It would be nice to be able to access my blog in 30 years time and see what events occurred to me on a yearly basis. It would be a nostalgic moment down memory lane.

So here goes my list :

1. I revived my dead blogspot blog. Yes, this particular page you're scrutinizing. It used to be a diary and there was no access to reach this blog. It was kept private and confidential. However, I deleted the old emo posts and decided to go global. You can still read my old emotical self from my Friendster blog: A Lost Soul.

2. I left school.

3. I left my hometown, Taiping.

4. I left home.

5. I lived on my own independently ( for the first time ) from the start of the year.

6. At the beginning of the year, I enrolled for A-Levels in Taylors College at Subang Jaya. I lived in a twin sharing room with a total stranger who could only speak Mandarin. We had communication problems with my limited vocabulary of Mandarin. But hey, I tried and I think my Mandarin improved tremendously! I'm now a half-banana :)

7. At last, I felt what homesickness is like and have surpassed that phase with deeper insights of life.

8. I left Taylors and headed to Nottingham University for the Foundation in Engineering programme.

9. I met and made new friends of different walks of life including nationalities. I learnt priceless lessons from them.

10. I met dedicated lecturer/teachers whom encourage students to speak up and be inquisitive. Unlike teachers in school whom deprived me of that. In fact, I was made Course Representative in Nottingham. Due to my constant shots of queries that might get some irritated I think :)

11. I learnt to deal with impermanence and had constant experiences with it. First, I left school and hometown that was my comfort zone for as long as I can remember. Second, I found that my old and nagging "pain" had disappear for I've come to terms with the phrase "life goes on". Third, leaving from places to places and blending in with new people is now no longer a problem for me.

12. I also learnt that to be left in solitude is blissful. I learnt that I am actually a loner and engages best when I'm on my own. However, I still find joy in meeting people and have interpersonal interactions with them.

13. I visited FRIM for the second time. FRIM is the place that inspired me with burning desires to play a part and to leave an impact in environmental protection. I volunteered to be in-charge of the trip and helped in making it a success.

14. I found joy and passion in advising others. I was deeply moved and elated when several friends of mine commented that I speak like a psychologist and am in the wrong field! Meaning I should be taking up psychology instead of engineering.

15. I learnt to take things positively. AT LAST. I can still remember that last year, in 2007, being positive was never in my vocabulary for I felt that all matters of life are SHITTY. Sincerely, I am a totally different person right now when compared to what I was last year.

16. I am still playing Badminton. And I made it into the Uni team. This is one of the many activities that I refuse and will never give up on.

17. I am a Toastmaster of the Nottingham Toastmasters International. I volunteered to several responsibilities for several meetings. I hope that I will be a better public speaker in times to come.

18. I found my idol. My role model. And He is Edward Cullen of the novel series by Stephanie Meyer.

19. I discovered that I have little to no determination and am working on it.

20. I always try to keep myself updated with the political and economical situation of not only Malaysia but of the world.

21. Obama REALLY inspired me.

22. I managed to develop the spiritual part of me that was never developed when I was busy with school and other activities. I still keep my options open and am interested to know more religions. I decided that family should not be the reason to why I'm in this particular religion. I am out to seek what blends in best with my personality for all religions preach good wholesome thoughts to it's followers.

23. I was also deeply moved by the WACANA seminar I attended on Buddhist Leadership.

24. I learnt to drive and managed to get my driving license (without failing even once!!). However, I failed to reach my parents' minimum requirements and have never driven anywhere but my housing area in Taiping with my father as my instructor.

That should be about it and should be sufficient to strike the nostalgia part of me when I stumble upon this 30 years from now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL. Remember that a new year should not be the reason for changes and resolutions. Once aware of a weakness, one SHOULD and MUST change for the better.

Yesterday is but a dream
Tomorrow is but a vision
But today well-lived
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope

-Ancient Sanskrit Poem-

Post 80 : Bye REN!

2008-12-28T21:48:00.004+08:00

And again, I failed to uphold my promise. Due to sleep gluttony or sleep deprivation, as how I would prefer to describe as, I failed to wake up this morning, AGAIN. My biological clock has been screwed up by my awkward sleeping patterns. Despite being on holidays, I can only get myself to sleep at 4am in the morning and wake up willingly after at least 10 hours of sleep. However, amendments has to be done and will be done since this has taken a toll on my health and daily routine. I feel drowsy at almost anytime of the day and am always out of concentration.

Worse case scenario was when I failed to get myself out of bed this morning to send my brother off for his National Service. It defeated my purpose of staying back in Taiping till Sunday considering that I'm actually on study lift and not on any semester breaks. I wasted one whole week, rotting at home and refusing to get any of my hands nor fingers on any of my books. All I did was just recuperate after the tough semesterful of assignments. The only fruitful activity I thought I could come up with was bid goodbye to my 3 months home-away brother. And again, I failed to achieve my intentions. Sincerely, I am so much of words but little actions. I can see a long list of resolutions for the new year.

Anyway, goodbye little brother. Enjoy yourself :)

I shall see you and your bald head on Chinese New Year. I can't believe your crowning glory will be gone and I can finally see your shiny scalp and mirror myself with it.

I WILL MISS YOU! =...(

Post 79 : More Debts

2008-12-27T13:57:00.002+08:00

My debt tag for Jacy

1. Each blogger must post these rules
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves
3. Blogger that are tagged need write about their own blog their ten things and post these rules . you need to choose 5 people to get tagged and list their names .
4. Don`t forget to live them comment telling them they`ve been tagged and to read your blog .

Ten Random Facts About Me.

I'm sarcastic.
I'm straight-forward.
I can no longer cry.
I'm lazy and have little to no determination.
I suck in COD4 but I still love the game.
I have a P license. I passed JPJ but I have yet to pass my parents.
I know that impermanence is permanent.
I had my first beer just recently.
I failed ABRSM Piano Grade 6. I am a Taekwondo brown belt, but I dropped out. I learnt guitar for 3 months and then quit. I'm a DROP-OUT.
I sleep too much.

5 People I tag:
1. YOU
2. YOU
3. YOU
4. YOU
5. YOU

Post 78 : Settling my debts

2008-12-27T00:32:00.002+08:00

Since I'm back in Taiping, rotting due to the inactivity, I shall settle all my debts, once and for all.

First and foremost,

Tag from Vivian:

TAG 1;

1) Do you think you're hot ?
I'm sweating. So is that counted?

2) Upload your favorite picture of you!

I'm indecisive of which.

3) Why do you like that picture ?
Which picture? What picture?

4) When was the last time you ate pizza ?
4 days ago. I'm stuffing myself to the max since I'm at home :)

5) The last song you listen to ?
Pencinta Wanita by Irwansyah

6) What are you doing right now besides this ?
Downloading games on to my new mobile phone

7) What name would you prefer besides yours ?
Sze Wei

People to tag .
1) Ji Ming
2) Jacy
3) Gabriel
4) Vivien Tan

8) Who is number one ?
Taylor's classmate. Nottingham foundation mate. Badminton kaki.

9) Number three is having a relationship with ?
How should I know?

10) Say something about number two ?
She's my cousin. And she's darn smart with a great deal of determination. Now that's 3 things :)

11) How about number four ?
She's my course mate in Nottingham and she's a GREAT friend. Very, very helpful indeed.

TAG 2;

5 people to tag- I tag;
Hmph....
1. Nithiyah
2. Benjamin
3. Yeong Jian
4. Sang Huey
5. May Fang

1. Name the people you tagged.
ARGH! Refer to the question above.

2. Describe yourself in one word.
Inquisitive?

3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
It's both or neither. A relationship can never work with either.

4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
No.

5. How if people reject your confess face to face?
I don't know. Time will tell.

6. God is giving u just 5 more minutes before going back to heaven, IF you love someone special, what will you say to that person?
Sail on. Impermanence is permanent.

7. What will you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?
What more can be said if none will be believed?

8. Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
Right now. Right then.

9. Do you have something special with you all the time?
I am special to myself.

10. Long distance love ?
It depends.

11. Best place to cry?
Anywhere. For me, to be able to cry would be good enough as I seemed to have lost the ability.

12. Who do you love the most?
My family and friends. Isn't that obvious?

13. Tell us of your dream last night?
I have lost that ability.

14. Ever hated someone so bad?
Not so long ago.

15. The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
What lie?

16. The last person you had a beer with?
The gang in Nottingham. That was my first and probably last. LOL.

17. The last person you went to the movies with?
Belinda, Ji Ming, Sang Huey and Semuel.

18. The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
David, regarding study break :)

19. The last person you hugged?
My bolster.

20. The last person you yelled at?
My brother. Who doesn't with siblings?

21. In the last week have you kissed someone?
Yes, my new phone.

22. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
What angry?

23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
This might sound cliche. But I will wish for world peace and also for gay marriages to be legalized.

24. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
Around the world in 80 days :)

25. What do you hate the most?
I don't do activities that I hate.

26. What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
My laptop.

27. Five facts About Me:
- Sarcastic
-Overly straight-forward
-Argumentative
-Strong and hard headed
-Overly Loyal

28. Five things that scare me:
- Uncertainties
- Impermanence
- Heights
- Pitch darkness
- Computer viruses

29. Two Songs Playing in My Head Lately:
- Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo - The Bloodhound Gang
- Pencinta Wanita - Irwansyah

30. Five Things I treasure in my life
- My family
- My friends
- My life
- My mind
- My laptop

TAG 3;

1.Why do you chose to be tagged anyway ?
- I'm tired of this...

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
- Humans were made equal.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
- I used to.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
- Unlikely

5. How many babies you want?
- Yet to think about that

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Only when the rainfall is simultaneous with the bright Sun.

7. What is your goal for this year?
- It's 27th December. So what goal?

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
- The Buddha said that life is impermanent. Everything is uncertain but death is certain. As for me, YES, love can be permanent :)

9. What's your nickname??
- Zee Wei, Zer Wei, See Wei, Zoo Wei, Ah Wei, Wei Wei and most recently Zhi Wei(which means masturbation in Mandarin)

10.What feeling do you love most?
- Content.

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?
- For your love

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people you hate ?
- Who?

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- Heck, YEAH!

14. What does flying means to you?
- To see the world from the perspective of a bird

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
- Taiping food

16. Who's hotter, Chace Crawford or Kevin Peake?
- Who are they?

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
- She's a budding poet

18. What do you want to do now?
- Sleep...

19. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
- Life goes on, with or without Cactus TM

20. What are your fear(s)?
- Refer to the questions above

TAG 4;

A chatbox is like replying a comment in friendster. you reply on other people's blog. imagine a friend sends you a comment and you replying it on your friendster, weird right? So i wanna take this time to tell everyone, reply on the sender's blog's chatbox rather than your own one because people might think you are selfish =). this is really important so, spread the word!

I'm tagging this to 5 of the most responsible & good bloggers!
They are to me. XDD

* Benjamin
* May Fang
* Vivien Tan
* Huey Shern
* Sang Huey

TAG 5

THE SELF
[01] Name: Lim Sze Wei
[02] Nickname: Wei
[03] Married: Not
[04] Zodiac Sign: Taurus
[05] Gender: Female.
[06] Age: 18.
[07] High School: SMK Convent.
[08] College: Taylors College; University of Nottingham
[09] Height: 175cm
[10] Weight: 69kg.
[11] Do you like yourself: Learning to.
[12] Piercings: Only ears.
[13] Right or left: I can be both if I have to. Mostly right though.
[14] Are you a freak : I'm a Badminton and Nature lover. So consider me one, freak
[15] Hair: Black. Charcoal black.
[16] Skin: Fair
[17] Allergic: Pollen, Dust
[18] What are you doing now: Settling debts.
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Continue settling debts.
[20] What will you do 10 years later : Hopefully an environmental warrior on a bigger scale

THE FAMILY
[21] Living: Alone on campus
[22] Siblings(included you): 2
[23] Eldest: Me.
[24] Youngest: My brother
[25] Love/hate your family: Love.

THE LOVE
[26] You found your another half: No.
[27] If yes, who is he/she: -
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: The one I love
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: What relationship?
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): What woo?
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): Woo what?
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: What wrong?
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: What was done?
[34] Ever argue with your other half: Argue about what?
[35] You with your other half since: Since what?
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: What orientation?
[37] Reasons you love your other half: What love?
[38] You and your other half in which stage: What stages?
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: Woo who? Who woo?
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: What is there to think?

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: Wai Yun Wen
[42] Your first enemy: -
[43] The friend you love the most: I love them all.
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): -
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: All my friedns are beautiful people.
[46] Your most handsome guy friend: All my friends are handsome people.
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: Backstabbers.
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: Backstabbers.
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: No
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: No.
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: Goodbye
[52] If your friend betray you: Goodbye
[53] If your friend woo your lover: Goodbye
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: It depends
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Why not?

THE STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: Depends on who the teachers/lecturers are
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: At times.
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: She knows. And yeah, that will do :)
[59] Always late to school/college: Ooooo YEAH!
[60] Your class: Ooooo YEAH!.
[61] You love your seniors: I love all my friends.
[62] Senior who you love the most: Men were made equal therefore should be treated equal.
[63] Your classmates good/bad: As long as they're my friends.
[64] Excellent result classmate: All students try their level best to excel.
[65] Laziest classmate: Laziness IS human nature.

THE PEOPLE
[66] Smart people: All my friends.
[67] Stupid people: None that I can think of.
[68] Good looking people: All my friends.
[69] Ugly people: None that I can think of.
[70] Funny people: HAHAHA!
[71] Cute people: All my friends.
[72] Bad people: None that I know.
[73] Honest people: My close friends.
[74] Acting people: Oscar Award winners?
[75] You are what kind of people: Ask my beautiful/handsome/cute/smart/funny/honest friends.

THE PREFER
[76] Lip or eyes: Either all
[77] Hugs or kisses: Hugs and Kisses.
[78] Shorter or taller: Taller!
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous.
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach and arms.
[81] Listener or talker: Both.
[82] Romantic or rich: Either Neither
[83] Good husband or Good Father: BOTH.

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: Time will tell
[85] Numbers of kid(s): Plans will tell
[86] Career: Environmental warrior
[87] Salary: Suffice
[88] Retirement age: My health will tell
[89] Properties value: -
[90] Wishes: Too long a list

THE VICTIMS
My blood relations

1. Pei Lu
2. Jacy
3. Peggy
4. Chong Ren
5. Jin Hui

Moving on, tag from Gabriel:

State 15 things about you:

I'm sarcastic.
I'm straight-forward.
I can no longer cry.
I play Badminton.
I'm lazy and have little to no determination.
I suck in COD4 but I still love the game.
I am still searching for my religion.
I am tired of tags. Moral : Never procrastinate
I have a P license. I passed JPJ but I have yet to pass my parents.
I know that impermanence is permanent.
I'm learning disattachment.
I had my first beer just recently.
I failed ABRSM Piano Grade 6. I am a Taekwondo brown belt, but I dropped out. I learnt guitar for 3 months and then quit. I'm a DROP-OUT.
I sleep too much.
I can be rash at times.

I Tag:

1. Su Lin
2. Vivian Teoh
3. Norazween

SIGH, debt nearly settled. Darn tired. Shall continue some other time. I can hear the bed's calling. Good night blogosphere :)

Post 77 : I feel empty

2008-12-18T23:50:00.008+08:00

Before I start on my post, here are few pictures with my English lecturer, Emmet and pictures from the Christmas party few days ago in Nottingham:

Yum Seng!

Flaunting our naked drumsticks

The Sassy Jazz band performing in the party

The Dark Art

Carollers at the admin building

The Foundation Engineering Gang that attended the party

That's David with his RM6k DSLR

Spot me with the red pointed top.

Emmet explaining the purpose of the sword in his Chi Kung practice

Any last wishes before I slit your throat, Yeong Jian?

Sword fight in the presence of a camera

At 5.21pm sharp, I walked out from the examination hall, feeling a little tipsy. No, I did not drink nor did I consume any laughing gas again. It's just that I felt light, lighter and so, so much lighter that I could just float up high in the air directionless. For once in semester 2, I felt AIMLESS. I am assignment and lesson free!

I shall ignore the one hour spent in the examination hall. I sat for Maths and it was the crappiest paper if I were to not consider Moral on my list. Maths was never a problem for me. I would say that I did particularly well in this subject and am always scoring, if not, most of the time. Not this time though. I left 2 objective questions unanswered for the lecturers practice negative marking. In fact during the exam itself, I motioned for Mr Balraman to my seat and made him confirm with me that the answers are there in one of the options.

Worse case scenario, my mind was not with the paper at all. An hour before my paper started, I received several smses from family and friends claiming that my yahoo mail account was hacked. And the mischievous hacker was sending out crap messages to all my contects. That was not my worry, I am sure that all my contacts are aware of hacking and could have easily guessed that the crap messages was part of the hacker's portfolio. What made me stressed up was the fact that stupid me use the same password for all my other accounts! I can't imagine a random post on my blog, with broken English and shallow bickerings! Worst if the person decides to edit my passwords. Then my accounts would forever belong to him/her!

Anyhow, everything is in hand, all passwords changed and security buffed up. In fact, mails of apologisation were sent to all my contacts. I sincerely hope that not much damage was done on anyone of you for not much damage was done on my side :)

Tomorrow, I will be sitting for my Moral examination and English-reading & writing assessment. I can't prepare much for English for the curriculum is too wide and language can't be toiled last minute. I hope I can manage a distinction under Emmet, considering his strict and rigid marking scheme. As for Moral, there is no point in revising for no matter how much I revise, I can never use what I've studied to answer the questions. Moral in University level is random and will probably ask you just about anything.

Right after my exam, my family will be here, to fetch me back to Taiping! At last! After 2 whole months, I can finally go home, embrace in the secure of both my parents. The absence of security and having to decide everything for myself is the only reason why I miss home. Not that I refuse to move on. I have moved on in life and am ready to take on just about anything with as much effort as I can. But heck, who would say no to going HOME?

I will be back in Taiping probably until after Christmas. I have to fully utilise my study break to revise for my semester finals that will fall right after this break. In fact, this 2 weeks break is my study break. The University conveniently placed our study break in the month of Christmas and New Year. So, more lessons can be covered.

I can't wait to go HOME! :)

Of Homosexuality and Morality

2008-12-12T22:41:00.005+08:00

This is the assignment. This is the project. This is the video. This is the entertainment that got all of us applauded on, raised higher on temporary pedestals. This is the effort of the 9 of us,
Vivien, Kelvin, Roderick, Wei Ping, Sang Huey, Wei Jian, Esdelyn, Hon Xing and me, Sze Wei.
All right, enough of anticipation and syok sendiri. LOL :)

So to all of you whom are unaware, for Moral Studies or even Malaysian Studies alike, the final big presentation which contributes the most percentage to our grades and is one of the determinants of failure or a pass is this particular group presentation. This is a group presentation whereby the group is supposed to portray or depict an opinion on a particular topic through audio and visual form.
As for my group, we were given a task to discuss on homosexuality. Whether is it accepted or dissapproved by society. Based on religious grounds, natural law and personal opinions, here it is. Our hard work. Our masterpiece. Enjoy.

And do leave your comments at the end of the flick :)

Be it positive or negative, it is for the sake of our improvement. For the sake of entertainment. For the sake of education.

Bring it on!

Post 75 : Back On Track

2008-12-09T15:39:00.002+08:00

I'm back from the invigorating, thought-provoking and blissful weekend that I had in Tuakor's place. It's been a while since I left campus, preferring to stay here working my butts off on assignments and activities.

It was great to be able to meet all my three loving aunt's : Tuakor, Lily kor-kor and Kuma.

I was really privileged to have them all together to dote on me and care for me. It is true that none can be closer than blood ties for blood is thicker than water. I just feel so safe, so secured, so blessed under the watchful eyes of them three. It reminded me of homesickness which I thought I had long overcomed ever since my first few weeks at Taylors.

Kuma came all the way from Taiping for a reason. And that reason is also the same reason to why I am willing to leave my new found haven in Nottingham for the bustling KL city.

The WACANA 2008.

It is an Annual Buddhist Conference hosted by the Nalanda Insitute with several other buddhist societies as collaboration. It was held at Armada Hotel PJ.

The theme of this year's WACANA has got to do with Buddhist Leadership in Malaysia, incorporating ideas of vision, values and vitality.

As a young adult whom is still searching for her calling and her religion, I agreed to attend.
This was my first ever and is definitely a whole new experience to me.

And boy, was I amazed by the issues and thought provoking ideas brought up in this conference. I was also very impressed by the effort and hard work of the current Buddhist leaders nurturing young, future leaders to take on the lead when they are ready to retire. Well, if the societies think otherwise, I believe that after attending the conference, they would start laying out plans for the future of their clubs. So much of listening to these insight, I believe that one should and would take action.

As for myself, I learnt to improve myself, not only as a leader but also as a person. Because as I live each and every day, I am actually leading myself. My mind is leading my body in whatever that I am doing.
I learnt how to be stronger, learnt how to deal better in chaos and learnt how to work better in a team. The challenge now is to put the thoughts into actions. This my new challenge. To practice what was learnt and what was gained from the conference into the way I lead my lifestyle.

I am only 18, there is so much space and so much time for me to improve and finally able to be one reputable person, I hope.

Thank you WACANA 2008, you've provided me such great ideas and created such deep impact in me. I would strive to develop my Buddhist leadership skills, SzeWei-fying it :)

Post 74 : My blog in Manglish/Benglish

2008-12-08T19:03:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon this link to turn your grammatically perfect blog into Manglish/Benglish

http://benglish.kennysia.com/

So adventurous me, I tried it on my blog.

Here is the link to my Manglish blog : Manglish Words of Thoughts

Post 73 : Brutal Killings in My Vicinity

2008-11-30T19:22:00.006+08:00

Few days ago, the whole world was shakened by the tragic news of the bombings in the small town of Mumbai. The Mumbai bomb and gun assault took at least 195 lives and injured some 295 others. It was considered as one of the deepest and darkest days for the Indian community.

Same here in Nottingham University Malaysia campus. Who in the peaceful vicinity of Semenyih would know that 3 fellow students of my university would be attacked by a gang of 20? I heard that the attack was brutal to the extend of one losing his toe and the other, his white bone could be seen jutting out of his skin.

That wasn't sufficient for the gang of 20. After the attack in the eatery-Forest Bar, the big gang of 20 sped off in few cars and headed on to the other town next to the campus, Broga. They stopped a car with fellow students in it and started ruthlessly attacking 2 of them.

5 of them were reported to be fighting hard and holding on tight to dear life in the ICU of one of the hospitals. Initially, I thought that this was the end, the 5 of them would survive. They would be back on campus in less than a month's time, fit as a fiddle.

I was proven wrong. Here's part of the e-mail that I received from my Students' Association Prez.

"Hello guys,

I regret to inform you that one of our fellow students who got attacked at forest bar some days back has suddenly passed away this morning.

He is a final year student of the Faculty of Electrical & Electronics Engineering

Name:SRISKANDARAJAH SARANKAN

The Executives of Student Association is declaring 1st of Dec,2008 a day of mourning of our beloved brother,friend,coursemate and colleague and would like you to know that we have also made a request to the management to declare it lecture free day so we can mourn for him but we are still waiting for their response.

Please be informed that there will be black ribbons distributed in student association building(Main Entrance to the building) between 9am & 11am tomorrow so we can show our beloved one that we miss him and we do love him.

All clubs and societies activities/events to be held tomorrow will be cancelled and we apologise for any inconviniences this will cause you."

The ruthless and psychopathic attack in less than a kilometer diameter of my campus killed one of us. It could have been me if I were to decide to have my dinner at that particular eatery. I am a frequent visitor. It just so happened that on the particular night, I decided to have my dinner on campus. I was lucky. However the poor guy did not.

How long can this luck of mine last?

To the family of SRISKANDARAJAH SARANKAN, I dearly understand your loss. You've lost a son, a brother and a relative. May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared, comfort you now and in the days ahead.

Do not worry, the authorities have promised to take action. There will be no peace without justice.

And to all my dear Nottinghammers out there, BE SAFE. I doubt if the University can stand the loss of another one of us.

Post 72 : The Screwed Up Trip to Midvalley

2008-11-29T01:59:00.013+08:00

These two weeks are one of the worst weeks in this semester. Submission of assignments, presentations and exams! Work. Work. Work. Work. Which eventually spells STRESS if not managed well. Well, till today, I would say that I am managing myself well. I'm having fun with the great group of friends I have here despite the large amount of workload we face each and every dreaded day. It is true that people around you will make a dreadful life less dreadful. Humans are social beings, after all.

To date, I have already sat for two mid term exam papers. IT and Light, Waves, Electrons B (LWB). 2 down. Few more to go. I can survive! YEAH!

LWB was today, or I should say yesterday considering that it is already 2a.m. in the morning and my eyes are trying to sabotage me. I'm half eyed wide and half multi-functional.

Immediately after the LWB paper, Belinda, Semuel, Sang Huey, Ji Ming and I left Nottingham for Kajang KTM by Belinda's Persona. We sort of predicted that we will be busying ourselves and de-stressing in Mid Valley for quite some time to the extend of missing the last bus back to campus.

I know that this is a very wrong time to actually hang out in shopping complexes. I had to cancel my IT group meeting and Moral Video taping to ensure that the trip is possible. Don't make me feel all guilty about it again. I had to do this for my greater good because my English presentation is next week and I do not have a single formal attire in my hollow, inhabited and stark closet. I wouldn't want to kiss my English 25% goodbye. I had to. Sorry guys :)

So I managed to buy a pair of slacks from Jusco. It's from the "NICOLE" fashion line. And a blouse from Dorothy Perkins.

Don't ask me how much the pair cost. It was as if a self-destructible bomb was implanted in my wallet. Chap fan for me for the rest of the month. No more karaoke at RED BOX, no more Satay Kajang at Haji Samuri. Or else you'll see me on streets begging to afford my meals.

After the shopping, we went on to Golden Screen Cinemas in Mid Valley to watch Twilight. The book by Stephenie Meyer.
To be perfectly honest, I am a new reader of this series by SM. And Twilight was the one and only book I read off the series. No time, you know. Even if I had 30 hours in a day, I doubt if I can fit "leisure reading" into my tight schedule. It's tighter than a G-string. Oh, trust me.
All I can say is, SM, you are the next J.K Rowlings. The only reason you can't be like her would be that your books are mostly and mainly directed for girls. Boys might find her books a little too sticky and might bore them to the core. How many boys actually treasure love stories as much as girls do? I fit in between. Therefore, the book made a significant impact on me.

I would say that I was rather satisfied by the movie. It could be due to the fact that I want to watch a movie so badly due to the exams, but I believe that the movie was a hit! Check out the reviews on MTV and other review-based websites. I'm sure I'm not the only one suggesting that Twilight would be a hit and might be able to challenge the position and impact made by Harry Potter.

Here are few pictures and scenes from the movie:

And finally, the hottest family in the small town of FORKS :

After watching the movie, I felt like a small kid all over again. The nostalgic feeling of being 11 washed over me as I recalled the year when Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone movie was released. I wanted to be a wizard. It felt good to be one. Right now, I want to be a vampire so badly! Oh one of you Cullens, bite me hard, suck part of my blood and let your venom pump its way to my heart through my blood streams. Make my heart stop. Make me immortal and make me look as cool and in control as all of you. Dang, I feel like a small kid all over again. Precisely, the movie makes vampires look less like deadly blood thirsty monsters to me.

The movie ended at 11.40pm. The last KTM was apparently scheduled to be at 11.45pm. As soon as the movie ended, 5 of us ran out of the cinema and made a 1oom dash across Midvalley, from one end to the other end, and leaped 3 flights of stairs. Midvalley would make a good place for a race, especially when the corridors are empty and the shops closed. Running like nobody's business could have been better if not for my severely injured legs from the previous night's Uni team Badminton training.

We reached the KTM entrance in less than 3 minutes. We thought we made it. But dang! the doors were closed. We missed the KTM :(

5 of us had to take a cab back instead. Spent like 5 minutes debating with the driver for a lower price. Came up with several lame excuses : student lah, not working, not much money etc. Sadly, the cab driver did not accept any of these. He insisted that the charge has to be RM65 as it is near midnight and there are 5 of us. He can be summoned if caught. We gave in, we were desperate. We need to get back on campus.

Along the journey home, Semuel and I had a heated debate in Mandarin. He wanted to test my Mandarin, apparently. He consider me as a useless Chinese for not being able to converse well in my mother-tongue. I'm a banana to him. Let's skip the debate details part. All fo you wouldn't want to be polluted and traumatized by the foul words uttered by the two of us. Well, at least it was funny and was some sort of entertainment for Belinda, Sang Huey and Ji Ming. And to the taxi driver, probably. He was so absorbed by our Mandarin debate/conversation that he lost his way and had to make 3 rounds to get back right on track.

So much so for Twilight, Dorothy Perkins and Mandarin foul words debate. I'm off to bed now. Drained out from the screwed up session. Despite the part when we missed the KTM, I had lots of fun today. And I got to know the 4 of them better deeper. And probabaly the taxi driver too. I still suspect that he can actually understand Mandarin. Never underestimate them taxi drivers. Hm, even if he doesn't we gave him much laugh with our crazy antics.

I found a quote which describes my current favourite past time well. Though it might not be suitable in my screwed up sprinkled with foul words events of today.

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."

Despite the fact that I love hanging out with my friends, I do enjoy doing most of my things alone. You can say that I might have split personalities, but I prefer to call myself balanced :)

Good Night blogosphere....

Post 71 : Fern Yi, you have my support!

2008-11-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, Lim Fern Yi, my fellow ex-student from SMK Convent Taiping wrote in to the Star papers regarding the current heated topic : price hike.

To those whom missed out on the opinion section, here's a copy of the mail :

"I REFER to the article “Fuel price drop good but not good enough,” (The Star, Nov 20). I am irritated to see fellow Malaysians are still not happy with the drop in petrol prices. Compared to the previous RM2.70 a litre, oil price has gone down by a whopping 70 sen, something not quite expected before the global recession.

According to many of the people interviewed, the reduction is “not enough”. They said that we should pay around RM1.70 per litre as the price should reflect the prevailing global prices. While I agree, I would like to point out that these people sound rather unappreciative of the price cut.

I would like to remind them that for a long period of time, the Government was subsidising petrol and we had been enjoying a subsidised rate. We should not take it for granted that the price will always remain low.

I am a student but I do know the burden many people faced when the price jumped to RM2.70. However, it is not fair for people to claim that the price reduction is only 15 sen and therefore, it is “not good enough”. Please show some appreciation.

LIM FERN YI,

Taiping, Perak."

As an objective third party observer of the happenings in our country, I have to give Fern Yi a big pat on her shoulder for being able to voice out her opinion through the mainstream media.

Unlike most bloggers, which also includes me, we fear of being mocked and being jeered at for the thoughts that run through and throng our minds and avoid pointing them out in such forms for instance : The Star Newspapers.

However, what happened to the little words of thought submitted by a 16-year-old?
She was laughed at, called alien, called brat, called spoilt.
What fellow Malaysians do we have?
True enough that all these name-callers are working adults and do feel the pinch of petrol price hike, but who are you to condemn an opinion based letter submitted to The Star papers on the recent petrol price decrease?
If the Star newspapers editorial board did not censor the letter and allowed the publishing of the letter, what more can you say?
Or do you, Mr Blogger and Blog-readers think that your superiority goes way ahead beyond the superiority of the Star Editor's. Think again, my fellow bloggers.

As I had mentioned in my past posts, I strongly support the government's move in letting us "grow up" and fully bear our personal petrol consumption.

When subsidized, we did not feel the pinch. The government did. But none was hyped by their side. But what did we rakyats did as a token of appreciation?
We condemned them.
Price subsidy removed. What did we do?
We condemn them again?
Price petrol decreased again. What did we do?
We condemn them again.

I am an objective third party observer. I do not take sides. I have my opinions on both the government and the anti-government. I may agree and disagree with some of their actions. But in this matter, I would like to point out that I fully support the government's move.

Now, don't go bombarding me with the not paying tax money lah. Don't own car lah. Chauffeured to and fro from one destination to another lah. ATM filled to the brink when empty lah. AIYO MA, STOP LAH! I feel the pain lah! Imagine my mamak mee goreng is now RM5 per plate when it was only RM3 initially. My buying power has reduced tremendously!

I believe that Fern Yi too feels the pinch. True enough, we may not be directly involved in this chain of events but let me get this straight. As a youth, I try to keep myself updated as much as I can because I do know that I am part of the democratic rakyats when I grow up.

Think about this fellow rakyats,
when I finally have the money to buy my first Proton car, will petroleum still exist? Or will it finally deplete? We will then have to wait millions and millions of years before fossil can form into petroleum again?
So while waiting, do you expect my generation to cycle around in our bicycles and tricycles?
Do you expect us to walk from Penang to Kuala Lumpur when we are on our business trips?

Or do you want the current government to stop subsidizing and channel the money into other forms of investments?(for now, let's ignore the corruption part in my chain of logic lah)
Do you know that when the government treats us like infants and subsidizes our petrol, they are actually inducing an opportunity cost on other form of investments?

I believe that by not subdizing petrol consumption of the current rakyats, the government would be able to channel the money in developing solar-powered Proton cars, hybrid Proton cars and even hydro-powered Proton cars.

I want to enjoy my first Proton car too, despite the fact that it is not as durable as your BMWs and your BENZs. I want it to be empowered, I don't want it to die off and be doomed of not being able to travel again because there is no more petrol in the world. I want my car to run on Malaysian made solar panel.

To attain this dream, we need current resources in monetary, and work force form.

Without the petrol subsidy, you now felt he pinch of every litre of petrol. Did you know that while you were happily enjoying you air-cond at full blast, beloved Mother Earth was choking on the CFC you emitted, she was coughing on the Carbon Monoxide, sulphur dioxide you emitted.
Or did you not know?
I hope you did. Because Mother Earth can wait no more. She is angry. She will want her revenge. But where will all of you be? You'll be long gone to Nirvana I hope.

I want to swim in the oceans with the same amount of fun you had.
I want to breathe fresh oxygen into my delicate lungs; the way you did.
I want to walk by the Lake Gardens, enjoy the cool evening breeze; the way you did.
I want to fish by the river without being poisoned from the catch of the day; the way you did.
I want to run, hop, skip, jump and leap; the way you did.

I want my future.

And I believe that the current tax paying rakyats would agree that they want their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to enjoy transportation and Mother Nature the way you enjoyed.

Think of us, uncles and aunties :)

Post 70 : Obaton

2008-11-24T16:08:00.000+08:00

Obama + Clinton = Obaton

*quote*Why choose if you can combine?*unquote*

credits to Benjamin Chang : http://bencxs.blogspot.com/2008/11/why-choose_23.html

Post 69 : Tagged by Leow Ji Ming

2008-11-24T15:35:00.000+08:00

Rules & Regulations:
1.Do not copy answers
2.The tag questions must be 100% the same
3.Tag people after doing tag
4.No tagging back

I tag:
1. Jacy Ong
2. Pei Lu
3. Fern Yi
4. Huey Shern
5. Benjamin
6. Vivien Tan
7. Vivian Teoh
8. Chong Ren
9. Azween

-How you know 1?
She's my cousin.

-What would you do if you never met 2?
How should know? Considering that our paths did cross. Who knows if it did not? So since Pei Lu is my cousin, not meeting her would mean that our mums are not sisters which also means that our grandparents did not give birth to our mums or might also indirectly mean that our grandparents did not meet. So in conclusion, not meeting Pei Lu would mean that I wouldn't even be existing in this circle of life.

-What would you do if 3&4 dated you?
I may look lesbian, but trust me, I am perfectly straight, or at least I THINK.

-Would 5 & 6 make a good couple?
Vivien and Ben? One is a future Chemical Engineer and the other Electrical Engineer. There might exist an electric and magnetic field between them making them enroll simultaneously in Nottingham Uni and both under JPA, however, as far as I am concerned, there is no chemical reaction-YET. So who knows?

-do you think 7 is attractive?
Yes, she is. Everyone is attractive in their own unique ways. So who am I to judge? But trust me, she is one good poet and one good Photoshopper(is that what you call Photoshop users?)

-Do you know anything about 8’s family?
He's my brother! What do you think?

-Tell me something about 9
She's quiet, demure and sweet. She was my schoolmate back in SMK Convent, Taiping. We attended the same Physics tuition and she was my sidekick in bullying the rest :)

-What language does 2 speaks?
English, Chinese(she's an Aussie)

-Who is 3 going out with?
Sorry, I don't know

-how old is 4?
She's 17 this year. But she has completed her A-levels.

-5?
18, as old as I am.

-Who is 6 favourite singer?
Ayumi Hamasaki.

-7 ?
No idea.

-Is 8 single?
I hope he is. If he isn't, I'm gonna bash him up for keeping it away from me :)

-What is 9 last name?
Norazween? No last name unless it is her dad's.

-Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?
My cousin? We are already in one!

-Which school does 2 go to?
Victoria Uni, Australia.

-What do you like about 3?
She's sarcastic. From what I gather by reading her blogs, she's one busy girl. But she managed her time and activities well. She's smart and she's got her direction of what she wants in life.

Darn tag. This is some kind of trap to ensure that bloggers do TAG other bloggers, considering that many bloggers avoid answering the "who do you want to tag?" part of tags.
Oh wells, sorry guys and gals :)

Post 68 : The Faggot, The Maggot, The Paggot Panda

2008-11-19T21:57:00.001+08:00

Precious, Kelvin, Rod and I were in the midst of preparing our webpage for HTML IT.

We decided to work on pandas as pandas are HUGE but real GENTLE animals. We completed the contents which includes the habitat, diet, lifestyle, lifecycle, law & enforcements and recognition. You can say that we are almost done and fully equipped on the contents of the webpage.

We had to entitle a name to our webpage and The Giant Pandas sounded to common and does not have the 'thing' to attract our direct audience.

So while brainstorming, we came up with several silly and hilarious ideas:

1. P for Panda
2. The Disappearing Ones
3. The Peril Ones
4. The Lost Treasure
5. The Lost Chinese
6. The Shrinking Giant
7. Panda Sucks
8. The Endangered Treasure

and finally.....
9. The Faggot, The Maggot, The Paggot Panda!

LOL! We practically came up with all the lamest ideas around. Laughing and screaming out loud like hooligans in TISCRA with HP computers and fellow students as our anguished audience. Sorry to those who got irritated. That is how STRESSED we are. With exams starting this Friday, English Portfolio deadline around the corner, Cause and Effect assessment next week, English speech and power point presentation in 2 weeks time, this IT HTML webpage assignment, Moral group video and Moral folio!

I didn't know how stressed up I was until the recent meeting on our topic we had.

I do feel a lot better.

Thanks Rod, Kelvin and Precious :)

ooo, I suppose this might interest you.

Despite the indecisivenesses, we managed to finalize our topic. We unanimously chose

The Fading Treasure

Post 67 : Please don't screw moral

2008-11-14T11:31:00.000+08:00

Due to my exposure to Malaysian Studies at Taylors, I have been taking compulsory subjects lightly. Although I attend classes regularly, argue and point out facts with the lecturer, make myself clear on certain findings and facts, I have been FACEBOOKING my whole night and morning away instead of revising for my first Moral test!

In 20 minutes time, I'm about to set foot into the classroom.

How ready I am?

I still give a damn to my blog!

DARN!

Just pass yah. SIGH...

Post 66 : I am a SMOKER

2008-11-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

All right, I didn't really smoke. Not the way you think it is at least. I've never really had my hands on a full packet of cigarette nor had I had a full puff of smoke inhaled into my fragile lungs.

To conclude, I was never a first nor second hand smoker. I come from a smoke-free background and all my friends around me are non-smokers.

I WAS living a healthy lifestyle, lungs free of nicotine and tar until the day I started my education at University of Nottingham, Malaysia Campus. I am a SMOKER now second-hand, though

Before I start on my complaints, let me put myself clear. I have nothing against this campus, academically and politically. I only disagree with certain matters and I have the right to voice my opinions on my personal blog.

I have been tolerating the fact that my current university is FULL of smokers and there is nothing done to reduce the numbers on campus. However, my tolerance has taken a toll on everything when I actually saw a NEW smoker, smoking.

A uni is suppose to instill good values in a student. No matter how stressed up one student may be, he/she should know the boundary between what ought to be done and what not. Having formal education for at least 11 years, one should be able to realise the dangers of an action and the method to avoid from falling into such gravery. I dare not blame the education system of my country as I too came from the same system, but right here, right now, what should and ought to be blamed is the family unit.
Before one parent can decide to unleash the chain of freedom on a kid, the particular parent must be confident that the kid is aware of all evils and goods in the society. Unless the kid come from a smoking background, nothing more can be said, as these parents fail miserably in being a role model.

I'm not here to educate parents.
I'm not here to discuss the cons of a cigarette.

But I'm here to urge all Nottinghamers(whatever we call ourselves) to be mindful and selective of the "things" we shove in our mouth.

Today, as I walked my way to my class, I saw a fellow July Foundation student smoking.
It could be me, it could be my buddy in Mechanics, it could be my buddy in Light Waves and Electrons, it could be my buddy in IT.
We are all vulnerable and can easily fall and be doomed by the addiction of nicotine.

Let us all lead a healthy lifestyle. Say no to cigarettes! Say no to second hand smoke!

Post 65 : Tagged by Huey Shern

2008-10-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Betray him? Eye for an eye. HAHAHA!

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
This sounds cliche. I'll wish for the perishment of poverty.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Barney's.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Charity. Environmental activists. Real estate. Investments.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
How should I know?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Loving someone. Because when I love someone, I feel that I'm "almost" complete as I believe in loving myself before I can actually proceed into loving someone else.

7. D0 you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I have been waiting all these years.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'll lodge myself in self-pity. And then I'll keep the pain deep in me so sacredly, so secretly that even the person closest to me will have no idea.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
Extremely happy? It depends on how you define it. If extremely happy means happy to the most extreme, I would say no. I'll be only "extremely happy" when all my questions on life, existence and mankind has all been answered to my utmost satisfaction.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
I don't know. I'm only 18 and despite my numerous life experiences, I would not dare say that it's sufficient for me to answer this particular question.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Hmm, 10 years time. I will be 28 in 2018. To be honest, I have no power to foresee the future. But I'll work hard to see forth the future I want to be in, which is an environmental activist whom applies engineering methods in solving crisis.

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
My family and my friends.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Huey Shern. She is a girl with a warm heart and a sweet smile. Mentioning her, I would say that I miss her very muchie. It's been almost a year since I last met up with her.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Can it be neither? I have not set out my plans for a family and I have yet to discover myself fully to be able to define the economic status I would like myself to be in. And then again, being rich and poor, it's all rather subjective. A domestic worker can be considered poor, but when compared to a beggar, he/she can be considered rich in monetary forms.

15. (a)What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
I usually snooze my alarm clock for at least another half hour.
15(b)What is your mood now?
Complacent.

16. (a)Your favourite weather is?
Sunny but windy.
16.(b) Would you give all in a relationship?
I would :)

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
I can never fall for two simultaneously. I would say that I know myself pretty much to the extend of understanding the degree of love I place on a person.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Huh? What? What happened?

19. Would you suffer now and enjoy later or the opposite?
Life is all about suffering. People plan to suffer now and enjoy later, but then they'll place themselves in another form of suffering when the first one has ended. It is an unending chain. The only way would be to indulge in the present. Be present and be mindful :)

20.W ho are u planning to tag next?
Ji Ming
May Khei
Benjamin
Wei Jian
Vivien Tan
Sang Huey
Chin Kwang

Post 64 : To Believe Not?

2008-10-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

You Are An ESTP

The Doer

You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second.

You love being the center of attention. You were probably the class clown.

Competitive, charming, and charismatic - you have your own code of honor.

You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activities that interest you.

In love, you are a master seducer... and quite manipulative when you want to be.

If someone loves you, you'll only believe their actions. Words don't mean a whole lot to you.

At work, you are a "people person." You're especially good at getting people to do what you want.

You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

How you see yourself: Reasonable, proficient, and tough

How other people see you: Flaky, unrealistic, and untrustworthy

What's Your Personality Type?

Post 63 : Independence

2008-10-26T00:18:00.001+08:00

Your Independence Level: Very High

You do things your own way. Even if everyone else thinks you're wrong.

You cherish your freedom, and you resent rules.

No one knows what's right for you as much as you do.

You can take care of yourself... and you do a mighty fine job of it.

How Independent Are You?

Post 62 : Too Old To Be True

2008-10-25T23:49:00.001+08:00

You Act Like You Are 31 Years Old

You are a thirty-something at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

You're responsible, wise, and have enough experience to understand a lot of the world.

You're at the point in your life where you understand yourself pretty well.

You are figuring out what you want... and how to get it!

What Age Do You Act?

Post 61 : A Day To Remember

2008-10-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

Due to my exposure in Kelab Pencinta Alam back in secondary days, I have determined my destiny : to create an impact in greening the Earth. Not that the Earth is any un-green but the fact is that our environment is at an alarming pollution rate! And it's up to us, the inhabitants with the highest intelligence, apparently, to stand up and slow down the process of the environmental debacle. Let us all change to make a change :)

However, I dare not deny the fact that I am still an amateur in discovering my environment intellectual. Having only a year of official involvement, I must say that there is still too much to be learnt and discovered.

A few days ago, the Nottingham Nature Club had its AGM. I didn't expect much from the meeting considering that this particular Nature Club is newly established and has a lot to learn from the 'elder clubs' at the uni.

But guess who, besides the ordinary members of the Nature Club attended the meeting?

Matthias Gelber

The Greenest Person On The Planet 2008

Boy, was I shocked when the President announced the arrival of this "treehugger"!

To those whom are unfamiliar to such award, just google his name and you will see why is he the greenest person around. To those in Malaysia, check out one of the Star Weekend papers to find out more. He was interviewed and starred in the papers a few weeks back.

Before the end of the AGM, we were given the privilege to listen to a speech from this green guy whom has/is/will create a big impact in our environment, past/present/future. And to be utterly honest, I was touched and sincerely inspired by the words of Matthias.

The eyeopening speech left me fired up on the impact I want to create on beloved Mother Earth. All I can say is that the speech had carved an even clearer path on my ambition.

Thank you for your inspiration, Matthias!

Post 60 : Happy Belated Birthday Sherrie and Yeong Jian

2008-10-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

This is Yeong Jian, the 'legalised' boy of the day

The 'cultural' and 'traditional' dos' of our group. Birthday boy had to remove the candle pushed lowest into the cake by using mouth.

Check out the caption on the cake.
"YJ, Shuddup. Act Surprised"
This is due to an accidental message which was sent to the birthday boy, making the bash unsurprising.

Yeah, that's how we dug the cake!

Those whom attended YJ's party

That's Sherrie, the birthday girl :)

As tradition is something respected, the birthday girl had to do it too.

Post 59 : I'm gay, I'm elated!

2008-10-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Here's the answer to why I'm as excited as a monkey! LOL. Now, don't go overboard and say that I behave and am a monkey.

I don't really have much time to elaborate, thus, I think that point form would be sufficient for all my dear friends out there :)

1. I was selected for my Uni's Badminton Team. I would say that this was due to shear and mere luck. There aren't many serious female players in Nottingham, well, maybe not as many as back in Taylors. So thats why I stand a chance. However, I must not be complacent. Training would be held on a weekly basis. Maybe twice or even thrice a week. So re-scheduling and re-adjusting myself is vital in order to maintain my resolutions.

2. I did well for my Semester 0 exams and am listed as one of the top. Consistent work leads to a higher degree of accuracy. Why didn't I work this hard back in SPM? Oh wells, no regrets for now. My only obstacle now is to maintain the foundation I've built for myself, considering that I have tasted the "sweetness" of this "labour fruit". I shall attain my resolution to be an all-rounder : academically, socially, physically, mentally and emotionally.

3. I have decided to be a premium member of Nottingham's Toastmasters Club. After days of contemplation, I decided to help make this club happen. Being just an ordinary normal member by paying the fee of rm10 annually would not help in the charter of this club in the international arena. I know that rm170 and rm90 every half annum is a huge amount, especially for a non-working young adult like yours truly. Sacrifices has to be made as I want to make this club happen. Premium members are hard to come by and numerous normal members do not play a part in this chartership. What I'll do is reduce on my other expenses. Opportunity costs will be induced and increased. Spend wiser and be thrifty :)

4. And I'm still in the process of searching for MY religion. It means that I'm on the right track! *bang* hit me reality! An all-rounder! That's my resolution :) I don't want to die without getting me questions unanswered. Curiousity leads me down new paths and it's important to have an open mind to be able to accept new and foreign knowledge.

Now you know why I'm GAY! not literally :)

Post 58 : Thanks PHING!

2008-10-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

Thank you Yi Phing, I would not have done what I have done without your moral support.

Even in the midst of the final lapse of your revision, you helped me like what you've always been doing.

A GEM! Yes, you are!

Thanks, "lobster" :)

Anyway, Happy Birthday to Pn Choo, though I have no doubts that she would not be able to read this. May the force be with her and may she be well and happy always: forever, permanently.